tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-314083342024-03-19T21:35:56.810-07:00Public Speaking Treasure ChestThe Art and Science of Charismatic CommunicationDesmondhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14148245572518221306noreply@blogger.comBlogger26125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31408334.post-33603079737422358162008-03-18T03:57:00.000-07:002008-12-09T01:08:26.320-08:00Mapping the Media<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrUUZ-ENeawlls_uwiQbDaGgYtoX-7qpjD7TqrJ_Imvclbj34osia1Ow_4ssW-Acfgt7R-ZYgGmbAud_sWvlmM8sTGnawiZt3NQnhjlba8tWRl-aX_ubfxjercVmwKSO7ijWhoqw/s1600-h/EarthOrthographicMapProjection.png"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrUUZ-ENeawlls_uwiQbDaGgYtoX-7qpjD7TqrJ_Imvclbj34osia1Ow_4ssW-Acfgt7R-ZYgGmbAud_sWvlmM8sTGnawiZt3NQnhjlba8tWRl-aX_ubfxjercVmwKSO7ijWhoqw/s400/EarthOrthographicMapProjection.png" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5179036279825504258" /></a><br />Most consumers of media, naturally, have a perception of the news media that suits their take on the world. They project, as we all do, certain values on to the news media that may or may not be true....and who cares?<br /><br />However, if your intention is to use the media to promote your ideas or ideals, or if you depend on the news media to tell accurately your story to the world, it may pay to step back and take a skeptical view on this seemingly incontrollable monster that we call the media.<br /><br /><a href="http://www.snapdrive.net/files/476678/Mapping%20the%20Media.pdf">Click here</a> for a longish essay that is an amalgam of several addresses that I have made on utilising the strengths and weaknesses of the news gathering machineDesmondhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14148245572518221306noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31408334.post-35189993986888069032007-02-19T20:03:00.000-08:002008-12-09T01:08:26.515-08:00The Big Questions<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnM49TBfTaSIxcaj4JU_ZzVOOpPJbZ9HR7Fygxe_rEpAqy2TcmipHlC31rdKOIiGkhaJl3w4AeeCqpXh_176cJXdSw-_UDw6XjNl57G12TEjr-mfBjYtHzmE7-J3L6RvRrvG32Ow/s1600-h/iStock_000000555783Small.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnM49TBfTaSIxcaj4JU_ZzVOOpPJbZ9HR7Fygxe_rEpAqy2TcmipHlC31rdKOIiGkhaJl3w4AeeCqpXh_176cJXdSw-_UDw6XjNl57G12TEjr-mfBjYtHzmE7-J3L6RvRrvG32Ow/s400/iStock_000000555783Small.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5033463018530987938" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br />Looking back over the thirty thousand or more current affairs interviews I’ve conducted over the course of my career, I mark the beginning of my professional and personal maturity at the point where I began to understand how language can be fashioned to manipulate and distort people’s representations of reality.<br /><br />As a young journalist in the 1970’s fronting sausage-factory current affairs shows, churning out interviews which frequently had the uniformity and substance of a supermarket saveloy, I felt extravagantly inadequate to the task of bringing so-called opinion-makers to task. At times I found their rhetoric bewildering and intimidating. On other occasions, the sheer onslaught of verbiage took me to a point of stupefaction where questions and, in fact, words, no longer came.<br /><br />Being left speechless by the silken words of puffed-up public figures wasn’t an experience I particularly relished. This was especially so in live interviews. Their triumph and my imagined humiliation was a very public affair. I soon tired of turning the colour of a baboon’s backside each and every time my inadequacies as a questioner rendered me impotent and embarrassed.<br /><br />I knew I was being led a merry chase, but couldn’t identify the devices being used to deflect my occasionally incisive questions. My education, training and life experience hadn’t prepared me for this seemingly never-ending queue of absolutists ejaculating their ideologically ‘perfect’ models for a better and worse society, and getting away with it. <br /><br />I became pre-occupied, some would say obsessed, with investigating how to peel away the layers of grandiloquence, how to respond to obfuscation, how to detect the lie behind the smug reply and how to catch the sleight of mouth experts in the act.<br /><br />I also discovered that I didn’t know very much at all of what I didn’t know about questioning and language. What’s more, I found my peers didn’t know and my superiors didn’t know. The few books about the craft of interviewing I could lay my hands on deepened the mystery. Seemingly, the authors didn’t know either. The consensus advice was that listening was the key. But, listening for what? “Well, stuff that is important” was the closest I ever came to a straight answer. I was in a loop where my search for answers ultimately led me back to my original question. And that’s where I was on every occasion I wasn’t somewhere else.<br /><br />I had to fossick around for the right questions to ask about questions. It felt more like scavenging for treasures at the local rubbish dump than launching into a new and exciting inquiry. My initial discoveries gave rise to more questions and some more useful answers. Since then I’ve trudged, crawled and frolicked through magnificent bodies of thought and material in my own personal quest to become a expert questioner.<br /><br />Fortunately, I’ve had a ready supply of unknowing interviewees (thousands, in fact) on which to experiment. This minor fixation with questions and language has embellished immeasurably my life experiences and enhanced my performance as an expert questioner. More than anything else I know, my study of how we ascribe meanings to things with words and symbols - and how those meanings can either enrich or impoverish people’s views of the world - has opened my mind to a world that would have been closed to me, had I not taken up the inquiry. .<br /><br />In my long study of charismatic communicators one things stands taller than all else - the quality and flexibility of their thinking and their abilities to question the status quo, received wisdom and so-called common sense. Many charismatic communicators have through intent and circumstance sharpened their thinking skills, often becoming masters of what I call 'radial logic' in place of the dogged pursuit of the mythical rock of truth. Many appear to have risen above the dim-witted thinking and rhetoric of the 'Warriors of the Word' in the often-phoney public debates over the issues of the day.<br /><br />Quality thinking is not driven by answers, but by the mental discipline implicit in asking quality questions. This is where the best of charismatic communicators have an edge over many of their contemporaries.<br /><br />To understand the real subtance of any issue, we need to understand what questions do that stock answers don’t. Questions drive thinking, which, in turn, produce more questions, which drive more thinking. Answers, on the other hand, are things that tend to have a completeness about them, are usually taught to us or created by others trying to manipulate us.<br /><br />This is the secret to many of the successes of charismatic communicators: they question the status quo, they explore fundamental questions that have been buried by an avalanche of 'correct' answers and they bring those questions to the surface.<br /><br />In the ensuing posts on this blog, I will explore in more detail some of the mental models of questioning I have modelled from observing charismatic figures.Desmondhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14148245572518221306noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31408334.post-526464464901635362007-01-24T04:49:00.000-08:002008-12-09T01:08:26.605-08:00Story-Telling: a rapid way to gain Share of Heart<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgu36n4YF-JJEVaaRmCxe3FlTsQ-E-YBN8wpaofn56z2_Ec247jBYWWnGlZw-xa-WiDtdr2T0WpHmckPNLFOBKesH_icYDZF1nOVrl-mF5E3Nar-6dx9l0AG_vsrnCnJN-D5wdpg/s1600-h/whiteout1+copy.jpg"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgu36n4YF-JJEVaaRmCxe3FlTsQ-E-YBN8wpaofn56z2_Ec247jBYWWnGlZw-xa-WiDtdr2T0WpHmckPNLFOBKesH_icYDZF1nOVrl-mF5E3Nar-6dx9l0AG_vsrnCnJN-D5wdpg/s400/whiteout1+copy.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5023586730149382018" /></a><br /><br /><br />Great storytellers can take a simple set of facts and create a multi-media experience in the minds of their audience with carefully crafted stories.<br /><br />There are many emotions you can share with your audience simply by crafting your story around the right words. Happiness, anger, sadness, nostalgia are just a few. Knowing your purpose for speaking to a group helps you to craft emotional experiences that are fully congruent with your message. When you have a crystal clear purpose, choosing the right words and emotional platform to empower your message is simpler.<br /><br />Here's an example of a set of facts that a speaker might convey:<br /><br /><i>“There have been eleven fatal accidents over holiday weekends in the past four years on the sharp curves of the Brookton highway, between Cursed Hole and Sleepy Hollow. Installation of guard rails, warning signs, and a flashing light will cost approximately $134,000. Even though we have not balanced the budget this year, I feel that we should appropriate money for this project</i>.”<br /><br />Here is a different version that reflects seeks to focus on the real emotional consequences of the message.<br /><br /><i>“On Easter Monday of this year Peter Smith and his family were found dead in their rolled-over car at the hairpin bend at mile peg 74. The radio of the car was still playing, tuned to our local station, when the ambulance arrived. Peter’s neck was broken. His wife Judith was crushed, and Jollie and Anne their three year old twins were dead too. No one here knows the Smith family because they're not from these parts, but they died in our locality. Most of you do, however, know of the hazardous twists and turns of the Brookton Highway, the scene of so many tragedies like that of the Smith family. We need money to put up guardrails, signs, and other safety features. I know money is tight, but can we not see fit to find the funds to remedy this situation before one of your family or neighbours suffers the same tragedy and Peter and Judith Smith and their daughters Jollie and Anne.”</i><br /><br />Can you see the difference in these two appeals? The first was simply a set of facts. Facts are important, but they rarely stimulate people to action. The action comes when emotions get attached to valid facts. You can wager that the second version of the above story would havea better chance of securing the appropriate funding.<br /><br />To create an emotional appeal in the second version of the story, words and phrases were chosen that had emotional power..... The Smith family were found dead. The car radio was still playing on the local station ... Peter’s neck was broken. Judith was crushed... hairpin bend ... They died in our locality - All of these phrases were woven into the original set of facts to create a congruous emotional platform designed to remedy the dangerous state of the Highway.<br /><br />Win the heart of your listeners and their minds will follow.<br /><br />The most effective presenters create a “relationship” with their audience where they share space for a time. A powerful way in which to initiate a relationship, not matter how fleeting, is to find the right emotional platform and weave a story around the facts you wish to present.<br /><br />You create a relationahip with your audience when you infuse what you do with something of emotional and personal value to your audience.<br /><br />The questions you should ask in respect to the delivery of your content are:<br /><br /><ul><li>How is what I’m doing reaching out and touching my audience?<br /></li></ul><ul><li><br /></li><li>How will it improve my audience’s life?<br /></li><li><br /></li><li>What can my listener do with what I’m proposing?<br /></li><li><br /></li><li>How does what I’m doing dovetail into my listeners’ needs?<br /></li><li><br /></li><li>How can I show my listeners what emotional benefits they will accrue, or the emotional distress they will avoid, if they accept my message?<br /></li></ul><br />Your emotional commitment to your listener should be greater than your commitment to what you think is important. Your best promotion is you: if you’re real, emotional, and credible when you find the real story that resides within a cluster of facts, people will vest trust in you. Rarely will your listener choose to embrace you and your message for purely logical reasons. Your listener may think, but remember s/he then feels, and its the feelings that ensue from the presentation of facts that drive action. Facts alone cannot do that.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /> Desmondhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14148245572518221306noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31408334.post-2235071508460386602006-12-18T02:03:00.000-08:002008-12-09T01:08:26.722-08:00The Secrets of Personal Power<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhsr5x86G69o8XexSNENLNA-sX27ADV_LtYUDJkekAhtLp_euQgxKcG84gofi0JD5iie_szcYhOBtJ89U9izTDxjT-mbsPxpBDsn-vQBgoWrG6FT3jJreHapfUssLM7ewx5xZZ92A/s1600-h/personal+power.jpg"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhsr5x86G69o8XexSNENLNA-sX27ADV_LtYUDJkekAhtLp_euQgxKcG84gofi0JD5iie_szcYhOBtJ89U9izTDxjT-mbsPxpBDsn-vQBgoWrG6FT3jJreHapfUssLM7ewx5xZZ92A/s400/personal+power.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5009807634576549490" /></a><br/> <br/><br/>More than two millennia ago Chinese Philosopher, Lao Tzu, observed that people who perceived themselves to be powerless caused great turmoil in the world because of resentfulness and resistance. Bullies, for example, whether in a work team or on the national stage do not perceive themselves to be powerful, and the lives of people around them suffer as they seek to dominate through force and aggression. <br/><br/>Can we explore this notion of perceptions of power a little further? When many people think about power, the types of power they usually envisage are physical power, monetary power, or some other form of coercive power that renders others more compliant or yielding. And so, feelings of powerlessness can often emerge as we lament about our levels of dependence and reliance on others.<br/><br/>In this brief article you will encounter a different perspective on power - a perspective that has the potential to place you at "cause" in respect to exercising personal power, rather than being at "effect" and viewing yourself as a vassal of those who have more authority or physical bearing.<br/><br/>The first secret to personal power is to acknowledge that power is a perceptual phenomenon. <br/><br/>The extent to which you may influence, persuade or control others is wholly dependent on the way others perceive YOUR power, not the other way around. Power is all about perceptions and the most persuasive and enduring types of perceived power have little, if anything, to do with money, physical strength or authority. <br/><br/>The second secret is to know the categories of power and how they work. Below is a brief summary together with examples of when they are used most effectively:<br/><br/><strong>Reward Power:</strong> You have the perceived power to give or dispense reward or favour. The power to influence and persuade on the basis of your capacity to deliver sought after benefits. People will follow you and behave in certain ways in anticipation of receiving those benefits. <br/><br/>Examples: Salary increments, promotion, membership of in-groups, desirable projects, special favours, sought-after work roles, inside knowledge, valuable information and tips, preferential treatment. <br/><br/><strong>Coercive power:</strong> You have the perceived power to punish or remove rewards. The power to influence and persuade based on your capacity to penalise or take away desired benefits. People will act or do as you request to avoid undesirable outcomes. <br/><br/>Examples: Demotion, performance management, ostracising from in-group, limiting opportunities, threats of termination, threats of dire consequences, removal from information loop.<br/><br/> <strong>Expert Power:</strong> Expert power is based on perceptions of competence. Regretably, research has revealed that men are perceived to have greater competency, instrumentality and leadership ability than women. The research also shows that, in general, women may have to demonstrate they are superior in competence to men to be perceived as competent by both men and women.<br/><br/>Competence can relate to any field and can be seen to represent an amalgam of knowledge, skill, experience, ability, aptitude, learning and attitude.<br/><br/>Examples: People believe, follow and take seriously those who they perceive to have expertise or expert knowledge in a particular field. In terms of leadership, people tend to be more compliant and less questioning. Doctors, academics, lawyers, etc., are perceived to have expert power relative to their patients, students and clients. Leaders with strong leadership experience and a positive track record with their staff are seen as having expert ‘Leader’ power.<br/><br/><strong>Legitimate Power:</strong> A person possess legitimate power to the extent that others believe/perceive the s/he has the right to influence or control others. Particular roles, such as policewomen, judge, manager, imply legitimate power in varying degrees. Parents have legitimate power over children and sometimes priests or ministers are seen to embody legitimate power over congregations. On other occasions, people feel an obligation to defer to perceived authority or to show respect to particular individuals whom they believe command it.<br/><br/>Legitimate power has similar gender issues to that of expert power. For example, modest, but not too modest, female leaders evoke more favourable reactions than overtly confident or self-promoting female leaders, whereas the opposite applies to male leaders. <br/><br/>Examples: Lawful directions and decisions by managers, acceptance of direction by a traffic policeman, deference to authority and status.<br/> <br/> <strong>Referent Power:</strong> Referent power is connected to an individual’s or group’s likeableness or social attractiveness. Referent power is often view as a more ‘indirect’ form of influence. It also refers, as does other forms of power, on an individual or group’s need or desire to maintain relationships.<br/><br/>Referent power can be seen to draw on what are termed ‘soft skills’ because it centres on the maintenance of relationships, often through the power of personality and social skill. Women are generally perceived to have higher levels of referent power than men, however it has been shown to be appropriate for both genders.<br/><br/>People want to be like, or near, an individual with high referent power and are consequently influenced by him or her. The advantage of high referent power is significant in terms of influence. Referent power creates more ‘internalisation’ of influence because it is fuelled by internal feelings of identification with the referent individual<br/><br/>Examples: Referent power as an influencing strategy can involve such elements as fair and consultative leadership, higher levels of people ecology (EI), thoughtfulness, consideration of others, collaboration, external focus as opposed to self-focus, the use of non-declarative language, understanding and manipulating for mutual ends human and typological differences, engineering attractive leadership identities, the structure of messages to educe better reception.<br/><br/>Guess which combination of power categories create the highest levels of perception of power? Thankfully, research shows that a combination of referent and expert power creates the strongest perceptions of power<br/><br/>Referent and expert power are do-able, placing you as the cause of others' perceptions of your power. In my book, The Charisma Effect', I reveal how you can build up referent and expert power, both of which are the result of learning and trail and error! <br/><br/> <br/><br/><br/><style>i{content: normal !important}</style>Desmondhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14148245572518221306noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31408334.post-70564650479405593532006-11-30T07:22:00.000-08:002006-11-30T07:40:21.943-08:00Breaking the Narcissistic Habit: Getting to I - You<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/x/blogger2/206/3834/1600/890154/narcissism.gif"><img src="http://photos1.blogger.com/x/blogger2/206/3834/400/793447/narcissism.gif" border="0" alt="" /></a><br/><br/><br/>Social commentators and communication gurus often lament that people ecology (empathy, interest, curiosity in others and the spirits of equality and fraternity) has been replaced by fragmentation of communities into cliques and clans which have little interest in anyone outside their own physical, ideological or socio-economic territories. They claim we’ve created an increasingly selfish and self-seeking culture, evidenced by everything from bad driving behaviours to the callous disregard for the poor.<br/><br/>So, let’s talk about narcissism, or egoism, and how it impacts on your average speaker, public figure or leader. Think of these types of people as ‘self’ made people in love with their makers, if you like. To apply a rather astute system of categorisation espoused by Martin Buber, they’re people who have “I-I” or “I-It” relationships.<br/><br/>What narcissists don’t usually do is include others in their calculations. As you’ll discover they fail in many instances to make any tangible connection between themselves and other people.<br/><br/><strong>The I - You Covenant</strong><br/><br/>Martin Buber was an eminent Jewish theologian who wrote a three Valium tome called I and Thou. In it, he expresses what may be some of the most profound thoughts ever written on the subject of human relationships. Buber reasoned that the ultimate relationship one person can have with another is an “I-Thou” relationship. These types of relationships are necessarily rare and they can require an enormous investment of time and energy.<br/><br/>“I-Thou” relationships are characterised by a deep recognition of another person’s individual differences and a choice to include that person in the ranks of the loved and cherished, despite any ongoing conflict those differences may create. This is what some people describe as unconditional love. A spouse, a few children, and a couple of friends are about all you could cope with.<br/><br/>Buber wrote that most or some of us, most of the time, can strike up “I-You” relationships with others if we have the inclination. “I-You” relationships may or may not imply a deep recognition of individual differences. They’re fine as long as you respect the humanness of the other parties and understand, at some level, that differences are just differences and perhaps it’s similarities that you should be searching for. You don’t have to love “You’s” unconditionally - you don’t even have to like them - but you’re in trouble if you order them lower on the humanity scale than yourself.<br/><br/>Another category Buber established is what he terms the “I-I” relationship. This is probably what people mostly talk about when they refer to the Me culture. In many ways “I-I” relationships describe people who behave as though they’re the only real living organism on this planet or maybe even the universe.<br/><br/>With people who experience most of their encounters in the “I-It category, other living things are there to serve them, to get things out of, to be milked or shunted around for gain. People who establish “I-It” relationships with most, or all, of the rest of the world, can view other human beings as lower on the scale of humanity, sub-human, or not human at all. Hitler demonstrably viewed jews, homosexuals, the infirm, political enemies and the mentally ill through “I-It” filters.<br/><br/>In both “I-I” and “I-It” categories there’s a serious deficiency in the way people see others. It’s easy to say that narcissists and egoists are just thoughtless people who don’t care a fig about others, but there’s more to it than that. There appears to be an unconscious thinking ‘block’ which somehow prevents them from viewing others as they view themselves. The can also view others as themselves: “what’s good for me is good for everyone”. In placing far less value on other human beings, they find it easier to ignore the essential humanity, the needs, the feelings of others.<br/><br/>In the more extreme cases, narcissists can demonstrate a cognitive disability in which people are not people, as we know them, but are seen as objects with about as much emotional content as a chair you sit on. With only “I-I” or “I-It” relationships to sustain them, and being a member of an in-crowd of one, they are, in many ways, lonely captives of the singular worlds they create.<br/><br/><strong>Getting to I - You</strong><br/><br/>There is a growing body of evidence that points to many charismatic personalities and leaders manifesting strong narcissistic tendencies. However, I’ve studied a number of charismatic individuals who have had a mature enough level of self-knowledge to notice how such attributes rob them of their ability to inspire and lead others.<br/><br/>The good news is that people can outgrow narcissistic behaviour if they choose. The most effective way of growing out of it is to get ‘out there’ and get curious.<br/><br/>One of the best ways I’ve noticed that self-aware individuals break the “I-I” or “I-It” habits is to temper their narcissistic tendencies by getting really curious about the key drivers of individual and group behaviour. They begin to notice how they impact on others; they observe when people’s lights go out when they’re speaking with them; they notice the subtle and not so subtle verbal and physiological reactions they evoke in specific situations; they notice which value words inspire people and they begin to build up a picture of when they really “click” with people.<br/><br/>“I-I” and “I-It” relationships kill rapport. An “I-You” covenant with audiences, groups and individuals allows you to share space with people and is one of the key building blocks of influence and persuasion.<br/><br/><br/><br/> <style>i{content: normal !important}</style><style>i{content: normal !important}</style>Desmondhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14148245572518221306noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31408334.post-84708182582928651432006-11-05T02:04:00.000-08:002006-11-05T02:21:00.466-08:00A Lesson for Erring Ummers - Kicking the habit of errs and umms<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger2/206/3834/1600/Stage%20Fright.jpg"><img src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger2/206/3834/400/Stage%20Fright.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br/><br/><br/>Humour me for a moment. Please do <strong>not</strong> think of George Bush the Younger wearing a red tutu and sitting on the Queen of England’s face while lecturing her Foreign Secretary on effective ways in which to torture Donald Rumsfeld’s wife.<br/><br/>O.K. so I picked a fairly mundane situation with a high level of probability, but what if I had asked you <strong>not</strong> to think of something that was much more improbable and highly ridiculous – like the same George the Younger bringing in a balanced budget or working for World Peace? Try not thinking about that one.<br/><br/>Were you successful in not thinking of what I asked to not to think of? Of course not! The human brain can’t process effectively negatives of this type. When instructed not to think of something, the first thing you usually do is think of it, don’t you? <br/><br/>And so what do you think happens when some seminar guru tells you to say to yourself a hundred times “I will NOT say umm and err in my speech” or sets you up to deliver an ad-lib and instructs the rest of the group to throw ping pong balls at you every time you intone an err or an umm? <br/><br/>Because the human brain can’t process negatives of the type we are discussing, the reverse occurs, and if you were to recite a hundred times “I must not use umms and errs in my speech” you would be effectively giving yourself a hundred instructions to do the reverse. There’s a lot of research to back up this assertion, particularly in the field of strengths-based psychology.<br/><br/>Aversion therapy works for my pet Whippet, but there is a suggestion that humans are a little more sentient than a Whippet, and correspondingly need more sophisticated methods to change irritating behaviours.<br/><br/>The human brain, however, is very good at actuating things that it has been instructed to do as opposed to being instructed not to do. So, secret number one in creating a strategy to present an ad-lib or speech that is rhythmic, flowing and articulate is to find the right set of instructions to deliver those things to you.<br/><br/>Here is one such instruction that I have found that has worked wonders with countless erring ummers I’ve coached:<br/><br/><i>“I pause and reflect quickly on what I’m going to say next before continuing my speech smoothly and confidently.”</i><br/><br/>Say that to yourself a hundred times and see what happens!<br/><br/>You can come up with as many variations on this theme as your creativity will permit. The point is that if you wish to avoid a particularly irritating behaviour, you must first think of replacing it with a behaviour that will produce the outcome you want. <br/><br/>You can’t just banish aberrant behaviours with a demand to stop – you must think about a useful behaviour that will replace it and give your brain a set of instructions that it can work with. <br/><br/>If you can transform those instructions into a multi-media event – all the better. In giving yourself the above set of verbal instructions, visualise yourself speaking smoothly and confidently and begin to notice how good it feels to be articulately expressing your point. And as you do, pan away to the audience and observe how they are drawn to you and your content. Great eh?<br/><br/>Do that a few times and notice the difference. That’s secret number two!<br/><br/><br/><br/><br/><br/><br/><br/>Desmondhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14148245572518221306noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31408334.post-3192709605454291162006-11-04T21:14:00.000-08:002006-11-04T21:23:06.056-08:00Coining the Right Words<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger2/206/3834/1600/001115_0559_0014_lshs~Pile-of-International-Gold-Coins-Posters.jpg"><img src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger2/206/3834/400/001115_0559_0014_lshs~Pile-of-International-Gold-Coins-Posters.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br/>A major step in learning how to intone the soft music of charismatic communication is to recognise that some words have greater value than others. You may realise that words backed by honest intentions are more valuable than those that are not. Further, some words have the potential to dramatically increase the value of your linguistic cash at hand. They can purchase more attention, more meaning, more understanding and more agreement. <br/><br/>If you invest your words wisely and seek to expand people’s choices with the persuasive words you use, people will begin to view you as a true leader. After all, if people associate you with benefit and choice, will they not be drawn to you for further guidance? <br/><br/>One of the most powerful words in the universe is the name by which you identify yourself. It will most likely be your first name, unless it’s a nickname that you embraced fully as a child and carried into adulthood. The mention of your favoured name can stop you in your tracks. Notice how you’re so highly attuned to hear that name that it can rise out of the din of a crowded room and fight its way to your ears. <br/><br/>Equally so, you associate your favoured name with gaining the full attention of others. From birth, you heard the sound of your name repeatedly and connected it to your being the centre of its’ speaker’s attention. Generally, you associated the speaking of your name with a positive emotion, like pleasure in being the focus of others. <br/><br/>If you use a person’s favoured name, either at the beginning or end of a sentence containing a suggestion, you will significantly increase the likelihood of the message being received favourably. Using an individual’s name anchors a positive emotional stimulus (as in the comfortable feeling you generally experience when people mention you by name) with the suggestion or statement contained in the sentence. <br/><br/>When communicating with groups and larger audiences it becomes impossible to refer to individuals by name, however you may like to consider selecting key, or influential, members of your audience and applying the above technique. If you have framed your sentence appropriately, their nods of agreement will have a powerful impact on the rest of your listeners.<br/><br/>Given that you cannot mention each and every member of a larger audience by name, what can you do to create similar outcomes to the examples given above? Think about it. What pronouns do you use when you think about yourself or engage in silent self-talk? You generally use the first person singular “I” or “Me”, don’t you? So, apart from having a particular affection for your favoured name, “I” and “Me” are substitutes for the name that embodies your broader sense of self. <br/><br/>If someone is to trigger the “I-Me” in you, which pronoun would be best suited for the job? The second person singular pronoun “You” would have to be first choice, wouldn’t it? If someone addresses you in the second person singular pronoun “You”, they’re directly triggering your “I-Me” sense of your self, are they not?<br/><br/>You may be thinking that “You” is also a second person plural pronoun. And, when it’s used to refer to a group, as opposed to each separate individual within a group, it can isolate the speaker from the group, rather than enjoin the speaker and group in shared space, and right you are. So, the secret is to refer to the singular “You”, and not the plural “You”, when you’re addressing groups, because you can speak with each individual as an individual if you use the “You” pronoun properly.<br/><br/>The singular “You” is one of the most important words in the English language because it triggers the “I-me” in your listeners and sends a strong signal that your content is all about them, and not yourself. In using the singular “You”, can you sense how you’re symbolically directing your attention towards each individual in the group? Have you ever, for example, attended a speech and felt that the speaker was communicating directly with you, or heard someone say, “I felt I was the only person in the room and that she was talking directly to me.”? Chances are the speaker framed most of her core message in the singular “You”. <br/><br/>This simple technique replaces the traditional relationship with audiences where listeners’ attention is directed towards the speaker. The reasons for doing this are becoming increasingly important. The singular “You” is becoming more necessary as people’s pre-occupation with themselves and their problems increase. It seems people have less time and attention to give to others in today’s high-pressure environment. Conversational Narcissism, where people constantly refer conversations back to themselves in a relentless pursuit of attention, appears to be a by-product of contemporary life. <br/><br/>An argument you might find quite compelling and rewarding is that if you design a form of communication that mirrors your listeners’ inclinations towards self-attention, your message will have a substantially better chance of being heard and acted upon. The second person singular pronoun “You” is pure linguistic gold because it taps into this trend and purchases the attention of your listener/s. Moreover, It earns the higher interest of your audience because it triggers emotions similar to those evoked when people hear their own name. It places you, the listener, at the centre of the communication. <br/><br/><br/><br/>Desmondhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14148245572518221306noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31408334.post-84106680837363292822006-10-18T22:06:00.000-07:002006-10-31T21:21:43.422-08:00Building a High Eye-Q<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger2/206/3834/1600/eye.0.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger2/206/3834/400/eye.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /><br />During the Renaissance it was a common belief that the eyes were the entry-point (or window) to the human soul. But this notion of eyes, souls and points of entry had a much longer history - a history that can be traced back to the early Greeks and Plato. Today, of course, science tells us that the eye is the only part of the human brain visible to others.<br /><br />We do indeed reveal our soul (temperament or emotional state) through our eyes and we know that other human beings have cottoned on to it since the times of the early Greeks. It is through the eyes that we truly reveal who we are.<br /><br />Eye contact helps to regulate the flow of communication. It signals interest in others and increases the speaker's credibility. Speakers who make eye contact open the flow of communication and convey interest, concern, warmth and credibility.<br /><br />Eye contact is an important signal of integrity and forthrightness in Western cultures. Prolonged eye contact in Eastern cultures is considered impolite or a sign of sexual interest.<br /><br />The literature on persuasion and influence is filled with references to the importance of eye contact. In studies which manipulated body gestures, posture, vocal fluency and eye contact to determine their impact and efficacy, the results consistently showed that eye contact was a key factor in establishing and maintaining trust.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">External Focus</span><br /><br />The most effective way to make credible eye contact is to combine it with an external focus, a focus that reflects your consciousness of your surroundings. If you make eye contact with an internal, self-conscious focus, your listener/s will unconsciously register that your full attention is not directed on them.<br /><br />Nervous, darting eyes convey various impressions to an audience and not only that of nervousness. People may interpret rapid eye movements as shiftiness, lack of confidence, fear of being discovered, and so on.<br /><br />Avoid looking down. While it may be necessary on occasions to refer to notes, place your notes an angle where you’re your eyes do not look down further than your gaze to those in the front quadrant of your audience. Looking down closes you off from your audience, and if you’re not looking down for a purpose, people may interpret it as shyness, shame or lack of self-confidence.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Eyes and facial Expression</span><br /><br />One type of unconscious facial movement that is less apt to be read clearly by an audience is involuntary frowning. This type of frowning occurs when a speaker attempts to deliver a memorised speech. There are no rules governing the use of specific expressions, as context is always the key factor in the impressions you give. But If you relax your inhibitions and allow yourself to respond naturally to your thoughts, attitudes and emotions, your facial expressions will be appropriate and will project sincerity, conviction and credibility.<br /><br />When you are recalling information, remembering a point or visualising a scene, tilt your head and eyes upward a little and let people see that you are thinking. Recall what you do with your head, eyes and body when you are deeply engaged in recalling interesting information. Give yourself permission to do naturally what you do in everyday situations.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Space Cadets</span><br /><br />Often people look at others with a wider-angled gaze, not directing their focus on those with whom they’re communicating. This gives the appearance of looking ‘through’ people rather than looking at them. Here, the depth of field is beyond the person’s head. Avoid the ‘space cadet’ gaze and set your focus directly on the person/people you are addressing.<br /><br />Some people have a habit of focussing their gaze beyond the eyeballs of others. The depth of field or point at which their focus makes contact is roughly two centimetres behind the retina. This can have a pleasing effect when accompanied by a genuine smile however some care needs to be exercised because it conveys intimacy. Lovers do it all the time, but it’s truly intimidating with a stony or serious facial expression.<br /><br />The most effective form of eye contact is where you can establish a focus that takes in the eyes, lids, eyebrows, and some of the musculature around the eyes of individuals with whom you are communicating.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Grid Eye Contact</span><br /> <br />When speaking to groups, make sure everyone is included in your gaze. Select individuals one by one and pay direct attention to them for approximately ten seconds, long enough to deliver one complete ‘byte’ of information. Move on to the next individual and continue the process throughout your presentation.<br /><br />For large audiences, select grids of people and apply the above process, speaking to one grid at a time. Alternate by picking out faces at random and speaking to them directly. In television interviews and appearances, pay full attention to the questioner.<br /><br />(c) Desmond Guilfoyle 2006Desmondhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14148245572518221306noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31408334.post-1160307977490643072006-10-08T04:35:00.000-07:002006-10-08T15:18:20.063-07:00Innoculation<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2039/3251/1600/SYRINGE-BOTTLE%20copy.0.jpg"><img src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2039/3251/400/SYRINGE-BOTTLE%20copy.0.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br/><br/>The term, "Inoculation Theory," is drawn from the public health practice of giving injections to prevent a serious disease from taking hold. <br/><br/>How does this process work? The theory is that injecting a very mild dose of a virus activates the body's defences, giving the immune system the forewarning needed to build up defences against it. The immune system defends itself against the weak attack and it actually becomes stronger. If the virus attacks again, the immune system can ward off the larger raid against the body. <br/><br/>The first injection must be weak. If the injection contained too strong a dose, it would overpower the immune system, leaving it defenceless against the viral invader. It would cause the person to become ill and may even result in death. The dose must have enough of the virus to activate the immune system, but must not be so virulent as to conquer the host and kill it. <br/><br/><strong>Inoculation Theory</strong><br/><br/>The application to persuasion is obvious. If you want to <i>reinforce</i> or <i>strengthen</i> existing attitudes, beliefs and behaviours, inoculation theory suggests that you should present a weak attack on those attitudes, beliefs and behaviours. Again, the attack must be appropriately weak, because if the attack is too strong it may well overpower the existing attitude, belief or behaviour and kill it. The attack has only to be powerful enough to activate the defences of the listener so that at the end of the exchange the mental immune system can beat off a future attack against it.<br/><br/>Below is the process for inoculation: <br/><br/>1. Warn the listener of the impending attack.<br/>“Some people may tell you that you’re harming your future if you ………” <br/><br/>2. Launch a weak attack. <br/> “They will say………etc., etc.………and if you were to know how would you effectively argue against what they say?”<br/><br/>3. Get the receiver to actively defend the attitude. <br/><br/>The steps are as follows. <br/><br/><strong>Warn of the Attack</strong><br/><br/> The warning plays a important role in the inoculation process. It stimulates existing defences in the listener. You may notice that it is normal to feel threatened when people warn you of an impending attack…your defences are immediately triggered. It is also normal that when feeling an imminent threat you automatically begin to man your battle stations and get ready for it. <br/><br/>Remember that last time you felt moderately threatened - a range of <br/>possible defensive actions began to circulate within the realms <br/>of your conscious attention, didn't they?<br/><br/>When threatened, many people start immediately to prepare a counter-defence against the incoming attack. They may construct a range of possible responses and counter-moves, some of which may never be deployed. This is what occurs amongst the strategists and tactitians on the battlefield. <br/><br/>Because the vast majority of people become hijacked by the <br/>'Argument is War' conceptual metaphor, they interpret such<br/> attacks in the same way as they would physical or life <br/>threatening attacks. They will act 'within the metaphor' and<br/> organise their defenses in such a way as to attempt to defeat<br/> the enemy.<br/><br/> As in real war, many of the defenses may not be deployed <br/>in resisting the incoming assault, but they are there in<br/> readiness, just in case circumstances require they be called <br/>into action.<br/><br/>The key point to remember that warning of an impending attack <br/>triggers manning of the barricades and the process of over<br/>-preparing in the face of an impending attack. Their efforts will <br/>not be wasted because,as in real conflict, beingprepared for a <br/>range of enemy actions is the key to survival. <br/><br/><strong>Launch a Weak Attack</strong> <br/><br/>An attack on a belief, value or behaviour is viewed by most people at a deeper level as an attack on their person. Few people make the distinction between themselves as individuals and the beliefs and values they embody. This is because the prevalent metaphor on argument in the western world is that of Argument is War. That is why we 'win' arguments; blow our opponents out the the water and use every trick in the book to ensure that that we are not overwhelmed by the enemy. <br/><br/>Advertisers "attack" our existing attitudes when they try to get us to prefer their product to a competitor. Parents "attack" their children’s beliefs about proper conduct in public. A weak attack as part of the inoculation process is nothing extraordinary as both weak and strong attacks on our thoughts, feelings and actions go on all the time. <br/><br/>It is imperative that your attack when applying the inoculation technique be weak and ineffectual. If you mount a strong attack, there is a strong possibility that the thought, feeling or action you wish to fortify may be weakened, cause confusion or be overwhelmed. <br/><br/>Remember, in flagging a weak attack on an idea, belief, value <br/>or behaviour, that you are seeking to reinforce an existing position<br/>and not seeking to change an individual's mind to an opposite position.<br/> If Louis Pasteur, for example, used a powerful injection when<br/> conducting human testing on his rabies vaccineall his patients <br/>would have been overwhelmed, dead.<br/><br/>The attack must only be strong enough to force the listeners to defend. It must not be so strong as to overcome the person’s defences.<br/><br/><strong>Ensure the Receiver Actively Defends</strong><br/><br/> Extensive research by social psychologists has revealed that the more vigorously an inoculated person defends against an attack, the more deep-seated and enduring the existing attitude will become. A vigorous defence implies that the individual not only thinks of counter-arguments, but also verbalises the counter-arguments. Ensure you get the listener to passionately and verbally mount their defence. <br/><br/>It is also vital to the success of the inoculation process that that the defence is mounted with minimal outside interference. You must let the listener do the defending. As in life, if other people fight your battles you never have the chance to learn how to effectively protect yourself against future attacks. The listener must conduct his or her own defence, using their own ordnance and battle plans so they do not learn helplessness.<br/><br/><strong>Why Does It Work?</strong><br/><br/>Inoculation works because it causes the receivers to engage in systematic processing about the attitude object. The weak attack threatens the receivers and forces them to think more carefully, deeply, and with more effort. In essence, inoculation causes the listener to think about the object of the attack. The more they think, the stronger the attitude becomes. All you do is provide the weak attack and that stimulates the hosts immune system against attack. <br/><br/>A key point of inoculation is to get people to think for themselves. When people actively generate their own ideas and thoughts and then have to vigorously defend those ideas and thoughts, they will develop considerably stronger attitudes, beliefs, and behaviours. <br/><br/><strong>Applications</strong><br/><br/> Inoculation theory has been applied to advertising, political campaigning, social marketing, and often in change management. <br/><br/>Recent research shows that voters are regularly the subject of inoculation practices in election and political campaigns. For example, one party may send out literature to potential voters warning them that an opposing party is likely to mount an attack on them or one or more of their candidates on specified issues. The letter would provide a weak version of the attacks, enabling the target voter to easily fend off the attack. When the real attack is mounted, the potential voter is more likely to be able to resist it. <br/><br/>Inoculation is particularly useful when you are speaking publicly, however it is at its most powerful and effective when you can ensure that the listener actually engages in verbal defence. For this reason it is recommended that you consider using the technique for internal presentations, such as board presentations, staff meetings, and issues that deal with physical, commercial, and cultural change. <br/><br/>Inoculation theory is also useful when you are canvassing customers, particularly when you are dealing with customers who may come into contact with the sales rhetoric of competitors.<br/><br/><strong>Effective Inoculation<br/></strong><br/>Revisit the three steps of inoculation: Warning, weak attack, vigorous defence. In going through each phase, bear in mind the following vital points. <br/><br/>First, the warning must serve as a threat that an attack is coming. This activates systematic thinking. Next, let there be some delay between the warning and the actual attack. This will permit more thinking and defence building.<br/><br/> Second, the attack must challenge, but not overwhelm the receivers. This is a delicate and subtle point. Instead of causing them to strengthen the attitude, belief, or behaviour, you might cause them to question and doubt that attitude, belief, or behaviour. Use the receivers' behaviour as a cue. If the receivers are not defending themselves and instead appear to be nervous or upset, your attack is too strong and will not work. <br/><br/>Finally, encourage active defending. Get each person to say or do something that shows that his or her defences are strengthening. Resist the temptation to weigh in with your own arguments, because people only learn how to be strong by doing the hard yards themselves.<br/><br/>A superb way in which to apply the innoculation theory is to combine it with hynotic language patterns. My book, The Charisma Effect, details how to use specific language patterns that guide listeners along particular paths of thought. <br/><br/>Desmondhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14148245572518221306noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31408334.post-1160306363105236652006-10-08T04:03:00.000-07:002006-10-08T04:19:23.120-07:00Media Interviews: More Tips<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2039/3251/1600/brxbxp125350.jpg"><img src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2039/3251/400/brxbxp125350.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br/><br/><br/><br/><strong>Only comment within the range of your knowledge and expertise.</strong> If a question takes you beyond your knowledge or specialist area, say so:<br/><br/>“I can only talk about what I know. A salinity expert is the person you want to speak to about that.”<br/><br/>“I have no knowledge about that specific case. It would be unfair to comment without examining the facts, wouldn’t it?”<br/><br/>If you don’t know, say you don’t know and promise to find out:<br/><br/>“I don’t know the answer to that question. But I can find out and get back to you.”<br/><br/>If you don’t have a figure or detail at hand, say you will have to get back to the reporter on that.<br/><br/><strong>Assume that your own facts and figures are the only reliable ones. </strong>Facts and figures mention by a reporter or interviewer may be incorrect or incorrectly interpreted. Only comment on statistics and detail that you know are true:<br/><br/>“Look I’m not at all sure those figures are correct. I would need to check their accuracy before I could talk about them.”<br/><br/>“I’d need to know the sample size, and look at the framing of the questions before I gave any credence to that survey. Questions can be so easily doctored, can’t they?”<br/><br/>Surveys commissioned by groups partial to a particular viewpoint should be treated with extreme caution. Opinion pollsters know that subtle changes of the wording of a question can produce dramatically different results.<br/><br/><strong>Ensure that the words that come out of your mouth are your own.</strong> A common ploy of interviewers and reporters is to include their own opinions in a question. Go on high alert when you hear phrases like the following precede a question:<br/><br/>“Don’t you think….”<br/><br/>“So…”<br/><br/>“So what you’re saying is….”<br/><br/>“Are you saying….”<br/><br/>“Isn’t that….”<br/><br/>“Isn’t it really….”<br/><br/>“Surely….”<br/><br/>“Can’t it….”<br/><br/><br/>Do not mirror the interviewers words back to them:<br/><br/>Instead of: “No I don’t think it’s a case of bureaucratic ineptitude”<br/><br/>Rephrase positively “We have to establish the facts first before we spend your tax dollar”<br/><br/>Make sure your main point/s is up front of your answer. Couch your answers in the positive and say what you are doing and not what you are not doing<br/><br/>Instead of: “No, we are not discriminating against Aborigines.”<br/><br/>Rephrase: “We encourage indigenous people to apply for the jobs.”<br/><br/><strong>Speak in the first-person, active voice</strong> as it is important that you convey the impression of action, involvement, and decisiveness.<br/><br/>Statements like “The program will be initiated on a trial basis in Pittsburgh.” reek of dispassion and distance. “We will trial this new program in Pittsburgh first” indicates involvement and action.<br/><br/><strong>Always reflect empathy</strong> towards the human side of things. <br/><br/>“The economic downturn in the housing industry has forced the downsizing on us.” speaks volumes about you not caring. <br/><br/>“It was a tough decision. We reluctantly had to let people go because there was no work.” indicates you are taking responsibility for having made a difficult decision. Remember governments, organisations, and companies don’t make decisions or formulate policy, people do!<br/><br/><strong>Follow Einstein’s Rule:</strong> Everything should be made as simple as possible.<br/><br/>Short simple answers are better than long, complicated ones<br/><br/>Use concrete language<br/><br/>A few short, simple sentences using everyday language give the interviewer and your stake-holders less chance of misinterpreting you<br/><br/>Simplicity is important in electronic news gathering. You should be able to make your major points to fit a 20 – 30 second grab.<br/><br/>Treat your audience as intelligent but never overestimate your audience's knowledge<br/><br/>Explain your terms when covering a difficult subject: better still, think of concrete terms or similes that explain your ideas<br/><br/>Avoid jargon, acronyms, abstract language, and polysyllabic pomp <br/><br/>Use metaphor to illustrate your point<br/><br/>Don’t talk down to people<br/><br/>Instead of “What you have to understand…” say something like “If you consider”<br/><br/><strong>Relate hypothetical questions to concrete examples</strong>.It may be unwise to comment on hypothetical cases. Instead, particularise them:<br/><br/>“That’s a hypothetical question, so it’s impossible to know what would happen. But let me tell you what did happen in a similar case” <br/><br/><strong>Tell the truth. </strong>Lying can destroy the carefully built credibility of your organisation.<br/><br/>You do not have to volunteer information which may be misinterpreted<br/><br/>You do not have to reveal information as you would in a confessional<br/><br/>You can say “I cannot tell you that. You wouldn’t want me to betray the trust of the people involved, would you?”<br/><br/>You can say “That will be announced in a fortnight. Everyone will get to know at the same time and that way no-one will have an advantage”<br/><br/>You can say “That is commercially sensitive information and as you can appreciate I can’t tell you about it” <br/><br/><strong>Keep control of the agenda. </strong>Beware of the interviewer or reporter who wants to broaden the agenda.<br/><br/>Sometimes interviewers and reporters request an interview under one guise in order to put you on the spot about something else. This is a dishonest practice, and it’s perfectly acceptable to point out the dishonesty:<br/><br/>“You invited me here to talk about our Skilled migrant Program and now you’re asking me questions on a very sensitive subject that I have not had a chance to be briefed on. I can not be a party to such dishonesty.” <br/><br/>“You told me you wanted to talk about employment opportunities in our industry. Now you bring up a case of alleged sexual harassment that I have no information on. Do you think that’s fair or honest?”<br/><br/>On occasions interviewers and reporters want to get too personal. On those occasions, take the point and broaden it:<br/><br/>“How do I balance my duties as a corporate executive, husband and father? That question clearly illustrates the problems that many American working couples have to contend with….”<br/><br/> When interviewers attempt to expand their range of questions beyond the immediate subject area, rein the discussion in:<br/><br/>“Wait a moment. Let’s flesh out the problem of bringing unethical lawyers to account before we move into the so-called high costs of justice”<br/><br/><strong>Keep your focus on your side of the argument. </strong>Some politicians and others spend most of their time trying to demolish the arguments of their opposite numbers. This focuses attention on your opponents arguments instead of yours.<br/><br/>By ‘sticking to the knitting’ you ensure that your points of view are the ones that get coverage<br/>State your case positively and tell people about the features, advantages, and benefits of your position<br/><br/>(c) Desmond Guilfoyle 2006<br/> Desmondhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14148245572518221306noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31408334.post-1159754891043698032006-10-01T18:57:00.000-07:002006-10-01T19:08:11.060-07:00Media Interviews: Tips Series<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2039/3251/1600/TV.jpg"><img src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2039/3251/400/TV.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br/><br/><br/>Media exposure is a double-edged sword. It can allow you to cut through the layers of distance and make a direct connection with your target public. But, in media interviews if you dont pay careful attention to what you say and how you say it that sword may become the thing upon which you fall.<br/><br/>REMEMBER YOUR STAKEHOLDERS<br/><br/>While you may be talking with a reporter or interviewer, you are ultimately speaking to a readership or audience. frame your answers from the perspective of your main stake-holders:<br/><br/><ul><li>“If this legislation goes ahead, you wont be able to drive on our country roads without the very real hazard of road trains anywhere in the state. Your personal safety will be at risk”<br/></li><li>“This new process will mean that you can harvest your crop and not worry about pesticide residues getting into the food chain.”;'<br/></li></ul><br/>BE CLEAR AND DIRECT<br/><br/>Begin each response to a question with your most important point (theme) to ensure the point will be clear and direct.<br/><br/><ul><li>“Safety, reliability, and a quick response are the key factors in our new plan .”……(lead on to supporting statements) <br/></li><li>“Bureaucracies are the hardened arteries of Government. Private competition ups the ante and gets everyone working better”<br/></li><li> “There is a growing strength in women, but it’s in the forehead, not the forearm.”<br/></li></ul><br/>SPEAK IN SOUND BITES<br/><br/>Be able to articulate each of your lead points in less than fifteen words. leading with short, encapsulating points is extremely useful for news “sound bites”.<br/><br/>short lead points in radio interviews quickly define your arguments and link into the Primacy/Recency rule. Some of what you say may end up on the cutting room floor. Design your lead responses to compel editors to include them<br/><br/>USE TACTICLY THE REPORTER'S OR INTERVIEWERS NAME<br/><br/>Refer to an interviewer by name a couple of times during an interview – don’t overdo it.<br/><br/>In print interviews, refer to the journalist by name as you usually would in ordinary conversation<br/><br/>BALANCE HOW YOU SAY WITH WHAT YOU SAY<br/><br/>How you say things is as important as what you say. The mass media admires people who are energetic, involved, and direct in what they say. Make sure your responses are forthright and enthusiastic.<br/><br/>Generally, respond quickly and energetically to questions – use pause only for dramatic effect.<br/><br/>Demonstrate the strength of your convictions. Respond with candour and confidence because indecision and insincerity can be magnified on radio and television<br/><br/>HUMANISE YOUR RESPONSES<br/><br/>Your field of expertise is interesting to you. So why not make it interesting to your audience or readership?<br/><br/>One of the obstacles of media visibility is stereotyping: academics viewed as dispassionate pointy heads, politicians being perceived as snake oil sellers, bureaucrats seen as interested in process before people, etc. Make sure that you dispel the stereotype by connecting your message to people and avoid at all costs the temptation to appear self important<br/><br/>DON'T BE PRESSURED INTO RESPONDING INSTANTLY TO A DIFFICULT QUESTION ON A COMPLEX SUBJECT<br/><br/>Notwithstanding the above advice on, use bridging statements to give yourself time to refer back to your main themes:<br/><br/><ul><li>“Let’s look at the important principles of this…..”<br/></li><li> “That’s an interesting way of looking at it, but it stills boils down to…..” <br/></li><li>“Yes, but what are the really important issues to be resolved here…..”<br/></li></ul><br/>bridge your response back to your major points<br/><br/>Desmondhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14148245572518221306noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31408334.post-1158845593343510362006-09-21T06:13:00.000-07:002006-09-21T06:37:52.450-07:00How to Present Persuasively to a Board<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2039/3251/1600/board.jpg"><img src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2039/3251/400/board.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br/><br/>Board presentations in many ways are no different to presentations to other audiences and groups. In board presentations you still need to:<br/><br/><ul><li> have completed a thorough stakeholders exercise and know as much as you can about the members of the board and their attitudes;</li><li>know your subject; <li>know what you want the board to say ‘Yes!’ to;<li>find some key ‘values’ or ‘emotions’ on which to hang your presentation;<li>structure your content to make it easily digestible;<li>deliver your content confidently;<li>wear the right uniform and talk the talk of your stakeholders. <br/></ul>There are however a number of other considerations you can address and tactics you can choose to employ to ensure your message is heard and embraced, the first of which is to decide if a presentation is the right way to go. <br/><br/>Would a written report be a better way of gaining board support? Written reports are useful when there is a great deal of technical data, a complicated process that needs careful scrutiny, or where a number of lead-up steps need to be taken before a case needs to be stated or advocated.<br/><br/>Some executives use the tactic of providing written reports that deliver high levels of data and proposing that the board ‘accept’ the reports. Then, they round off with a presentation on ‘Best Case’.<br/><br/>Having decided if a presentation is the best course of action, review the following tips and ideas to determine which ones suit your personal circumstances.<br/><br/><strong>Front-End Research</strong> <br/><br/>In studies conducted by Professor Jay Conger of the University of Southern California, it was found that effective corporate persuaders would select influential and savvy colleagues and superiors to get an emotional reading from them prior to engaging in processes of persuasion. They would question how various ideas and proposals might impact emotionally and logically on staff, superiors or board members. This enabled them to acknowledge and mirror in their proposals the emotional state and expectations of those they were seeking to persuade.<br/><br/>In board presentations, it makes supreme sense to discuss your proposals during the development phase and avoid the situation of ‘springing’ a completely new proposal on your board. Where possible, consider the following:<br/><br/><ul><li>Try out your raw ideas on various board members before you finalise them. If you can’t access board members, test your proposals on your colleagues, CEO, or other senior execs in the know, during the development phase of your ideas. Elicit from them/him/her as much detail of board attitudes as possible. Make amendments to satisfy any concerns or ideas expressed. <br/></li><li>Notice or discover the ‘value’ words board members use, such as ‘shareholders interests’, ‘profitability’, ‘responsibility’ ‘market share’ ‘credibility’ and other key words that relate to fundamental concepts and principles embraced by your board. Find ways of linking your key ideas to the value words you have elicited. Value words also provide benchmarks that you can employ when delivering board reports, as opposed to submissions. <br/></li><li>Get to know your subject from ‘both sides’. An audience of board members is generally a demanding audience where assumptions, judgements and proposals may well be challenged. <br/></li><li>To avoid being unprepared for challenges, become a Devil’s Advocate of your own position. Research the downside of your proposal and build up a comprehensive idea of the other side of your argument, proposal or idea. Get colleagues to pull your proposal apart if they can. <br/></li><li>Complete an opportunity-cost exercise so you can be the one who says something along the lines of “I would be remiss if I didn’t detail the potential costs and pitfalls of this proposal….” complete with well thought out ideas on how to neutralise or minimise those costs and pitfalls. <br/></li><li>Having a very clear picture of opposing arguments and the pitfalls and negatives inherent in your proposal will allow you to pre-test the validity of your position. It also prepares you for demanding or difficult questions during, and at the end of, your presentation. <br/></li><li>Understand clearly the format required. Often, executives turn up to a board meeting with their content well prepared but with little idea on the format of the presentation. Boards like exercising their power (Who hasn’t sat outside a board meeting stewing while waiting to be summoned?) and your board will probably demand you deliver your presentation according to its rules and not yours. <br/></li><li>Ensure you know how the board likes information, reports and proposals to be presented. Schmooze a board secretary, ask your CEO or a sympathetic board member to discover how the board likes presentations to be delivered and follow the rules rigidly. By delivering your presentation in a familiar format you increase the persuasive power of your presentation. <br/></li><li>Know who the tyrants are and what their hobbyhorses are. Board members are no different to any other group. Often board members will make statements or ask questions simply to show off their knowledge. It is wise to determine if any of your content will touch upon pet subjects of individual board members. In such cases you need to design tactics that either appeal to, or circumvent, particular positions of individual board members. <br/></li><li>Know where the power resides. What power blocs operate within the board? As a managing director you may well know who the ‘Alpha’ personalities are on your board. If you are not a CEO, find out as much as you possibly can about the power politics of your board. You are then in a position to tailor your content to the values and beliefs of the alphas or to the dominant power bloc on the board. <br/></li></ul> <strong>Delivery</strong><br/><br/>You have approximately thirty seconds to four minutes (depending on which research you rely on) to establish an initial relationship with your board. These first few valuable minutes of the encounter will determine the degrees of attention members will be willing to invest on your presentation and whether they choose to actively process what you have to say. Opening statements in board presentations are crucial<br/><br/>Design a powerful opening statement. If your opening statement is clumsy and inept, expect board members to label you as such and to process what they hear through that filter. People rarely separate the person from his/her behaviour in such instances. If your statement is confused, woolly, silly or uncertain, don’t be surprised when you notice that a fair number of your board have turned their cognitive lights out.<br/><br/> Make your content relevant. Persuasion researchers have found that one of the most important variables in triggering motivation to think about a message is personal relevance. Personal relevance can stem from a variety of factors: linkage to personal beliefs and values, desired outcomes, group expectations, plans for the future, corporate vision, issues of personal relevance to the board as a whole and shared experiences to name a few.<br/><br/>When the relevance quotient of a message is high it’s been found that people will be more motivated to scrutinise and think about its content. If your arguments bear scrutiny then you can expect to achieve higher degrees of persuasion.<br/><br/>During your front-end phase discover ways in which to make the content relevant to your board. If you work in a specialised division avoid at all costs the gobbledygook and in-house language of your division. Translate your content into language that is relevant to board members.<br/><br/>Keep your presentation concise, succinct and to-the-point. Don't present too much detail, such that the impact of your presentation gets buried under the weight of the data you present. <br/>Think about the level of energy you will incorporate into your delivery. Often presenters are in awe of their boards and allow this self-defeating emotion to impact on the degree of energy they invest in their delivery. Think carefully about how you will need to display the ‘courage of your convictions’.<br/><br/>This is not to say that you should fake energy or go over the top, but your board will be reading at an unconscious level the degree of belief you have in the position you are advocating. If you are flat and monotone, be prepared for your board to ‘feel’ that your heart isn’t in it. <br/><br/>Tell poignant and relevant stories. Passion by itself isn't the only necessary ingredient to getting your message across. One of the major tools you can use when talking to a board is to tell stories that prove your point.<br/><br/>Design support material to be released after the presentation. Board members are usually fairly busy individuals. Design your handouts to include dot point summaries of the key points you have introduced in your presentation. Give your handouts at the end of the presentation. Avoid overwhelming the board with written information unless it is part of your strategy for the board to sink in a sea of paperwork. Avoid passing documents around before your presentation, as some members will direct their attention to what is written instead of focussing on you.<br/><br/> Work the room as much as you can. Boards usually sit around tables and this can make it difficult to work a room:<br/><br/><ul><li>Always stand when you are making a board presentation<br/></li><li>Be careful to make sure all members have sight of multi-media presentations or overhead transparencies<br/></li><li>Always face the board when you are talking to points projected on to a screen, only briefly looking at the screen to keep your thoughts in order<br/></li><li>Avoid using a lectern<br/></li><li>Choreograph your movement by visiting the boardroom prior to a presentation. If possible do a complete dress rehearsal in the boardroom so you can comfortably work the space you have<br/></li><li>Inform the board how you are going to do your presentation. If you decide that questions and answers would better be left until the end of your presentation make sure that you say something along the lines of “In this presentation can we explore the proposal first and open up for discussion at the end?”<br/></li><li>Ensure your presentation is not all about you. Novice speakers often imagine that if they ejaculate a stream of information at a board it will soak it up like a sponge and become instantly informed, persuaded or convinced. <br/></li></ul><br/>It may pay you to remember that board members are people too, and that boards, like most executives in the top companies, make decisions based on gut feel before logic is applied. The usual laws of vivid evidence, inclusive language, appropriate emotional appeals and communication in ‘shared space’ apply to board presentations as much as they do to any other presentation. Boards also like the word ‘You’<br/><br/>Dare to be different at times. Conduct actual "show and tell" demonstrations. Rather than simply presenting reports or making presentations, take board members on a tour and explain how your new proposal will work and how it may enhance quality, safety, service and costs. <br/><br/>Design a memorable conclusion to your presentation. Your closing statement represents your last word on the subject matter. It’s your final opportunity to make a difference. Your last minutes and seconds in front of your board should represent a determining moment for them, a turning point where your message should culminate in a fusion of impressions that leads to the suggestion of action. Is this not the ultimate purpose of your a board presentation?<br/><br/> Summarise your previous spoken content, then leave the board with a few words that are memorable or make a significant impact. Using a quotation, asking a powerful question or presenting a challenging future scenario can also create the right conditions for approval or a positive impression. <br/><br/>Desmondhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14148245572518221306noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31408334.post-1157640900227985012006-09-07T07:26:00.000-07:002006-09-07T07:55:00.326-07:00Ten Tips to Enhance Retention of Your Speech<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2039/3251/1600/Stimulating%20memory%20copy.jpg"><img src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2039/3251/400/Stimulating%20memory%20copy.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br/><br/><br/>“Memory is a crazy woman that hoards coloured rags and throws away food”… Austin O’Malley<br/><br/><br/>Experimental psychologist A.D.Baddeley demonstrated in his research that people generally recall a series of short words better than they recall a series of long words. As early as 1965 it was demonstrated that retention of spoken information in the short term, or working, memory peaks at about fifteen seconds. Waugh and Norman, writing in the Psychological Review, established that retention falls off dramatically after the fifteen second barrier. <br/><br/>Short words rather than long words included in short sentences rather than sentences longer than fifteen seconds assist your listeners to work within the confines of their working memories, and long sentences crammed with multi-syllable and unfamiliar words, perhaps accompanied by qualifications and subordinate clauses that, if people haven’t given you their fullest attention, and let’s face it they often don’t, will lead to confusion and indeed loss of meaning, probably about half way through, can turn an address into a kind of into a marathon requiring the cognitive endurance of a mensa candidate and ultimately everyone including yourself will probably have forgotten the starting point of the idea you sought to express (if, incidentally, there was one in the first place) before they ever reach the end of your verbal onslaught. Of course you get the point, don’t you? <br/><br/>The most glaringly obvious verbal onslaughts are usually contained in written speeches. A point well worth remembering when you initially write out a speech or address is to use the written word purely as a phonetic representation of spoken language. In other words, do write as you speak and avoid writing content that makes you speak as you write. <br/><br/>When writing any part of a verbal presentation bear in mind that people do not generally speak in sentences: they speak in sense bursts. In oral communication, people process words in chunks or phrases. Pick up a book of well-written poetry and notice how it’s set out. Good, conventional poetry is far closer in style to spoken language than a lot of the stodge that professional speechwriters churn out. <br/><br/>Memorable presentations are ones that allow listener/s to process your information and build a memory picture or cognitive map as they go along. In speaking for maximum conformity to how a person’s working memory works, select from the following guidelines:<br/><br/><ol><li>make your language simple, clear, precise, and make sure you use concrete words. The majority of your listeners need concrete words, and plenty of verbs, to understand your content.</li><li>Don’t use pollie-speak, bureaucratese, moneyspeak or any of the other gobbeldygook languages. You don’t need to inflate your intellectual vanity by telling your audience you know how to speak like a pointy-head.</li><li>Convert specialist acronyms and shorthand descriptions into clear, unambiguous language. Eg. Instead of CPI, call it the Cost of Living.<li>Contain one idea per sentence. Long sentences with subordinate or dependent clauses are for books, magazine, and newspapers, not spoken language.<li>Go and get de-purpled if you’re into purple prose. Be careful and economical with adjectives and flowery language. Be unique, yes, but try not to be pompous.<li>Use active voice and tense when you wish to get people really involved in your content. Use the passive voice and tense when you want your listeners to be detached observers of some experience. Too much usage of passive voice however can result in an audience becoming lethargic and disinterested.<li>Build your argument logically. Use illustrations and visual imagery to connect point to point.<li>Use metaphors, as they are a short way for your listener to understand often complex ideas. Don’t mix your metaphors or you may find yourself up a tree without a paddle!<li>Be careful with tautologies, like “new initiative” “lone individual” and all those other sillinesses because they direct your listener’s attention away from your argument.<li>Build in suspense, questions, and cliff-hangers.</ol><br/> (c) desmond Guilfoyle 2006<br/><br/><br/><br/><br/><br/><br/><br/> <br/><br/> <br/><br/><br/><br/><br/> <br/><br/><br/><br/> <br/><br/><br/><br/> Desmondhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14148245572518221306noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31408334.post-1156689273635314212006-08-27T07:16:00.000-07:002006-08-27T07:35:05.760-07:00Metaphors that Entrap<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2039/3251/1600/Elco-Trapped%20copy.jpg"><img src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2039/3251/400/Elco-Trapped%20copy.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br/><br/><br/><br/><br/>A large body of research has been conducted into what is termed by cognitive scientists as metaphor. So as not to muddy the waters, think of metaphor as a template or lens through which you view the world. Cognitive scientists have been systematically unpacking the significance of conceptual metaphor in our daily lives since the sixties. <br/><br/><br/>Those scholars propose that metaphors are not simply playthings of the mind, but are a “natural outgrowth of the manner in which our minds are constituted”. What that means is that conceptual metaphors are product of your neurophysiology, that you have a genetic predisposition to attribute meaning to things by way of metaphor. <br/><br/> George Lakoff is professor of cognitive sciences at the University of California at Berkely and he asserts that metaphor rules almost all of our thinking:<br/><br/>“We may not always know it, but we think in metaphor. A large proportion of our most commonplace thoughts make use of an extensive, but unconscious, system of metaphorical concepts, that is, concepts from a typically concrete realm of thought that are used to comprehend another, completely different domain. Such concepts are often reflected in everyday language, but their most dramatic effect comes in ordinary reasoning. <br/><br/>Because so much of our social and political reasoning makes use of this system of metaphorical concepts, any adequate appreciation of even the most mundane social and political thought requires an understanding of this system. But unless one knows that the system exists, one may miss it altogether and be mystified by its effects”.<br/><br/>On the conscious level metaphor can create shortcuts to understanding: cognition as the crow flies. Say, you have a complex idea you need to get across. The choice is yours: you can take your audience on a energy-sapping trek through the terrain, cross raging rivers of data, scale each conceptual obstacle as you come to it and finally, if you’re lucky, arrive at your destination. Or, you can invite them to take flight, fix their bearings and make their way to journey’s end on the wing of a metaphor.<br/><br/>The above is a crude metaphor for the complex internal processes involved in learning something new by linking it to something you already know or something universally known. It’s also an example of a surface metaphor. You understand the hitherto unknown by associating it or joining it to something familiar. You’re aware of a metaphor being used and you recognise how the metaphor was constructed to illustrate why metaphor can be the shortest way to explain difficult concepts. These types of metaphors are described as superficial, or surface, although they may draw on deeper conceptual metaphors.<br/><br/> Many people imagine metaphor as a by-product of the mastery and creative use of language. Metaphors are viewed as cute linguistic toys and playthings of speech, as tools for those who perhaps fall victim to ornamental expression, often in place of plain talk. Surface metaphor, however, if used appropriately can create powerful shortcuts to comprehension, but it’s important to make a distinction between the two types of metaphor. Conceptual metaphor describes a much deeper process, as you will see.<br/><br/> Researchers have built up a formidable body of linguistic research that proposes that deep metaphoric concepts govern what you perceive, how you negotiate the world and how you communicate with people. They prescribe the way you function right down to the minutiae of daily life. Conceptual systems are generally beyond consciousness and that’s why you may not be aware of how you structure your meaning and how you apply conceptual metaphors. <br/><br/>In the late seventies, Lakoff and Johnson embarked on a project to develop linguistic evidence to point out deficiencies in contemporary theories of meaning. Within weeks of the decision to collaborate, they discovered that Aristotlean logic (what Edward deBono describes as Rock Logic) didn’t allow them to legitimately or in scientific terms raise the type of issues they wanted to address. <br/><br/>Like Korzybski had observed before them, the stumbling block was the two- thousand-three-hundred-year-old notion of objective and subjective reality. They subsequently developed an alternative theory of metaphorical concepts that placed human experience and understanding at the centre of their model of meaning. <br/><br/>Lakoff and Johnson pioneered new theories that took into account how people experience meaning in their lives. They identified a deeply embedded conceptual framework and argued that most of our conceptual system is metaphorically structured. <br/><br/>But who cares what a renowned linguist and a prominent philosopher cooked up between them? Of what relevance is it to the pursuit of charismatic communication? Why is it important to know about conceptual metaphors, and what do you do with the knowledge once you’ve got it? Well, think about it. Conceptual metaphors are generally beyond consciousness and you’re not aware of them governing your thinking or behaviour. <br/><br/>What do you think would happen if someone applied a conceptual metaphor in a speech, conversation, or debate, entrapped you within it and slipped in a few self-serving suggestions? Because metaphor is part of the way you unconsciously make sense of the world, you’d be oblivious to what was happening and may be subject to covert influence without ever knowing it. <br/><br/>Some conceptual metaphors when used as a deliberate technique by your opponents have the power to embroil you in a cycle of self-destructive behaviour that can damage your reputation and credibility. Some unethical communication specialists teach these as a technique to public figures as a means of manipulating their opponents into showing their so-called “true colours”. Experts call the technique ‘conceptual entrapment’ and it can be a frighteningly devious way of triggering the more primitive elements of your personality.<br/><br/>Remember, conceptual metaphors may well play a pivotal role in defining everyday realities. They help structure what you do and help you understand what you’re doing when you’re doing it. While you have a genetic predisposition to consciously and unconsciously process information by way of metaphor, the brain software you use to do it is not content free. What this means is that much of the metaphor software in your brain is culturally or experientially biased - has a lot of content. <br/><br/>Conceptual metaphors can be deliciously seductive, so much so that they can obscure all other kinds of possible conceptions, options, ideas and viewpoints that exist outside of them. People can become so entrapped within a conceptual metaphor that no amount of pleading to view things from another perspective will register. In politics, office environments, social policy debate and even in the home this may have extremely dangerous implications.<br/><br/>In my next post we will review some of the more toxic of these metaphors.<br/><br/>(C0 Desmond Guilfoyle 2004 - 2006<br/><br/><br/><br/><br/> Desmondhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14148245572518221306noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31408334.post-1156261345376149172006-08-22T08:08:00.000-07:002006-08-22T08:45:28.260-07:00More Words that Lose Hearts<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2039/3251/1600/many%20faces.jpg"><img src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2039/3251/400/many%20faces.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br/><br/><br/><br/><font><strong>INCREDULITY CREEP</strong><br/><br/><br/>Recall those conversations or speeches you’ve heard where your initial feelings about the speakers were positive but the longer they went on, the less believable you found them. Give your unconscious mind a pat on the back, because it was well and truly on the case. It was most likely picking up a host of linguistic cues that denote lack of commitment, the possibility of deception, and other credulity stretching devices. Below are some of the more common examples that induce what is called incredulity creep, the gradual wearing away of credibility through unintentional admissions of dishonesty or, in some cases, habitual use of verbal crutches:<br/><br/><strong>Honestly, truly, really, certainly, no kidding!</strong> <br/><br/>Think about it for a moment, why would anyone preface or end a statement of truth with one of the above words? People usually take direct path in expressing the truth. Any deviation, surely, is significant. <br/><br/>The statement “Honestly, I have explored every avenue, and on balance this is the best option.” is not the shortest way of expressing what the speaker believes is the truth. If uttered without any prior questioning of her honesty, the statement can be seen as a significant cue of sensitivity. In truth, you could expect the speaker to say something like, “Out of all the options I looked at, this is the best one.”<br/><br/>The truth, as you inherently know, requires no heralding of its arrival. In the first example, the speaker may well know that what she is about to say is, in essence, dishonest, and so prefaces her remark with a protestation of honesty in order to deceive those listening. This is a common pattern of language identified by specialists in the scientific analysis of content for deception. <br/><br/>You should avoid prefacing your comments with words such as the above. Ensure you do not use them as verbal crutches, because you will inadvertently trigger sensitivity to deception at the unconscious level of your listeners. <br/><br/><strong>Believe me, believe it or not</strong> <br/><br/>“Believe me, there’s no person better equipped to do this job than me.” Now, what do imagine is the motive of the speaker in prefacing his remark with an appeal for you to believe him? Chances are you have already intuited that the speaker wants you to make an immediate decision for fear of the discovery of people who are indeed much better equipped to do the job than him. <br/><br/>In most contexts “Believe me”, and “believe it or not” (remembering that “not” cannot be processed unconsciously) are clues of deceptive behaviour or, in some cases, insecurity or doubtfulness about the veracity of one’s statements. People who have confidence in the truth or validity of their sentences are rarely observed to introduce a perceived truth with an appeal to believe.<br/><br/>“Believe it or not” in some instances can be interpreted as an expression of indifference to listeners. It can also be intuited by people as a means of feigning nonchalance or even-handedness to cover up a strong desire for a lie, or, in some cases, a truth, to be embraced. Avoid these expressions at all costs and develop a habit of saying what you mean and meaning what you say.<br/><br/><strong>Naturally, obviously, of course, clearly, it goes without saying</strong><br/><br/>Often, the best deep level interpretations people make of these words are that the speaker is prone to condescension or showing off what they know. One of the easiest ways to lose an audience’s sympathy is to demonstrate a superiority complex through linguistic cues such as the above. <br/><br/>In some contexts, speakers use the above words in an attempt to convince listeners that the ideas etc. that follow are legitimate or normal practice. Don’t you? And, can you not sense at some level when a speaker is using these terms to deceive or win you over on the basis that they’re simply repeating common knowledge?<br/><br/>Words like “obviously”, “clearly”, etc., i<font>n some fields of linguistics<font> are termed ‘lost performatives’. If you find yourself on the receiving end of statements like the above, recover the lost performative by asking “Obvious to whom?” or “Clear to Whom?” and notice the interesting replies you elicit.<br/><br/><br/><br/>(c) Desmond Guilfoyle 2004 - 2006<br/><br/><br/> <br/> Desmondhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14148245572518221306noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31408334.post-1156126759842767792006-08-20T18:20:00.000-07:002006-08-20T19:19:19.983-07:00The Thoughts Feelings Dyad: How Balance Increases Persuasive Appeal<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2039/3251/1600/emotions%20grafic.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2039/3251/320/emotions%20grafic.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /> <p class="MsoNormal" style=""><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal" style=""><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal" style=""><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal" style=""><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal" style=""><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal" style=""><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="">Media research reinforces how emotions drive viewing and listening choices in selected audiences in radio and television.<span style=""> </span>Even ‘Hate Radio’, as we know it, gains its audiences by pressing the emotional Hot Buttons of targeted audiences:<span style=""> </span>outrage buttons, disgust buttons, anger buttons, despair buttons, particularly in the upper demographics.<span style=""> </span>This form of stimulation reinforces a hate radio audience’s pre-existing emotions and may even give them pleasure.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b><i style=""><o:p> </o:p></i></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b><i style="">Feelings drive</i> <i style="">actions</i></b>: the action media operators are most concerned about is encouraging listeners to <i style="">commit the act of choice </i>in favour of their products and services - in other words, tune in, and stay tuned in. The same thing applies in presentations to groups – you need your listeners to tune in and stay tuned in if your message is to be heard.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">The challenge is, then, to decide on the kind of emotions you wish to evoke in your audiences: emotions that drive listeners to act by choosing to listen and pay attention to you and your message.<span style=""> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">They don’t have to be negative emotions like fear, hate, jealousy or outrage, although on some occasions they can legitimately be associated with your message.<span style=""> </span>They can be emotions that are more useful to people’s everyday lives.<span style=""> </span>They can be emotions which stir people to create a better future, generating optimism, hope, humour, strength, control, curiosity and so on.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">So, if people think-feel and then commit the act of choice to listen or not listen to you, what kind of emotions could you stir ethically?<span style=""> </span>Below is an incomplete list that you may like to add to:</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span>curiosity<span style=""> </span>confidence<span style=""> </span>exhilaration</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span>enthusiasm<span style=""> </span>shock<span style=""> </span>humour</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span>self-control<span style=""> </span>empowerment<span style=""> </span>desire</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span>hope<span style=""> </span>expectation<span style=""> </span>anticipation</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span>titillation<span style=""> </span>thrill<span style=""> </span>scepticism</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span>suspense<span style=""> </span>belonging<span style=""> </span>sense of knowing</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span>sympathy<span style=""> </span>empathy<span style=""> </span>discovery</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span>happiness<span style=""> </span>joy<span style=""> </span>material desire (greed?)</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span>status<span style=""> </span>triumph (winning)<span style=""> </span>pleasure</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span>concern<span style=""> </span>motivation<span style=""> </span>comfort</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span>encouragement<span style=""> </span>re-assurance<span style=""> </span>disbelief</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span>courage<span style=""> </span>passion<span style=""> </span>certainty</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Content is all about positioning.<span style=""> </span>If the content of your message regularly stirs a range of the above emotions, people will associate you with the generally useful emotions evoked.<span style=""> </span>This is what is meant by gaining a ‘Share of Heart’.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">By tapping appropriate emotions you can associate <i style="">pleasure</i> and <i style="">stimulation</i> with what you’re doing. The linkage of pleasure and stimulation to the experience of listening to your presentation greatly enhances the possibility of your message being taken on board by your audience. </p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="Style1"><span style=";font-family:";font-size:12;color:navy;" lang="EN-GB" ><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-weight: bold;">Only Giving Head?</span><o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal">It is a myth that thoughts and feelings can be separated.<span style=""> </span>This myth gives rise to the idea that you can have a discourse, debate, or just a plan old conversation and not feel anything at all.<span style=""> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Much of the rhetoric that many speakers engage in is based on the spurious notion that you can separate thoughts from feeling.<span style=""> </span>This reveals itself in interesting ways:</p> <p class="Subbullet" style=""><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="Subbullet" style="margin: 6pt 0cm 0.0001pt 50.2pt; text-indent: -14.2pt;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family:Symbol;"><span style="">¨<span style=";font-family:";font-size:7;" > </span></span></span><!--[endif]-->‘Hard heads’ who suppress the music and emotion of their voices because it gives them “credibility” and “balance”.</p> <p class="Subbullet" style="margin: 6pt 0cm 0.0001pt 50.2pt; text-indent: -14.2pt;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family:Symbol;"><span style="">¨<span style=";font-family:";font-size:7;" > </span></span></span><!--[endif]-->Stories told in abstract language, which removes the ‘life’ from the story.</p> <p class="Subbullet" style="margin: 6pt 0cm 0.0001pt 50.2pt; text-indent: -14.2pt;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family:Symbol;"><span style="">¨<span style=";font-family:";font-size:7;" > </span></span></span><!--[endif]-->Real serious discourses with ‘analysis’, without real life examples in which to embed an audience’s experience.</p> <p class="Subbullet" style="margin: 6pt 0cm 0.0001pt 50.2pt; text-indent: -14.2pt;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family:Symbol;"><span style="">¨<span style=";font-family:";font-size:7;" > </span></span></span><!--[endif]-->Speakers sounding as if they have the world on their shoulders and every word uttered must be spoken with gravity.</p> <p class="Subbullet" style="margin: 6pt 0cm 0.0001pt 50.2pt; text-indent: -14.2pt;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family:Symbol;"><span style="">¨<span style=";font-family:";font-size:7;" > </span></span></span><!--[endif]-->Presenters with personal phobias that reflect a fear of so-called trivialisation. </p> <p class="Subbullet" style="margin: 6pt 0cm 0.0001pt 50.2pt; text-indent: -14.2pt;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family:Symbol;"><span style="">¨<span style=";font-family:";font-size:7;" > </span></span></span><!--[endif]-->Discourse using language that removes the speakers or moderator from the ‘dirty world’ of human emotions.</p> <p class="Subbullet" style="margin: 6pt 0cm 0.0001pt 50.2pt; text-indent: -14.2pt;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family:Symbol;"><span style="">¨<span style=";font-family:";font-size:7;" > </span></span></span><!--[endif]-->Conversations conducted in ‘surface rhetoric’, such as econo-speak, pollie-speak, or in-house shorthand.</p> <p class="Subbullet" style="margin: 6pt 0cm 0.0001pt 50.2pt; text-indent: -14.2pt;"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">You might be interested to know that the pre-scientific notion of separating thoughts from emotions was revived and championed by a philosopher called Descartes, who lived a couple of hundred years ago.<span style=""> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">The notion had been around since biblical times, but he picked it up and ran with it.<span style=""> </span>He proclaimed that somewhere, he wasn’t quite sure where, there existed absolute ‘truth’.<span style=""> </span>His method of finding that somewhere was to somehow lapse into “pure rationality” in order to take a “a God’s Eye view” in the hope that all would be revealed.<span style=""> </span>He failed.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">In many ways, the assumption that there is such a thing as objectivity, pure rationality, non-bias and dispassion still governs much of the practice of so-called rational debate and discourse.<span style=""> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Rational debate, by its very rules, demands that you separate thoughts from feelings, and engage in “unfeeling” dialogue.<span style=""> </span>This still happens in some pockets of academia as well as business and the media.<span style=""> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Interestingly, modern psychology has a name for people who have stopped feeling for others, or can’t think-feel in the concrete realm any more.<span style=""> </span>They’re called sociopaths.</p>Desmondhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14148245572518221306noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31408334.post-1155649690750866482006-08-15T05:52:00.000-07:002006-08-16T19:51:09.356-07:00Words That Lose Hearts: What I'm Saying Is.....<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2039/3251/1600/badfwords.png"><img src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2039/3251/400/badfwords.png" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br />Words have caused wars, racial hatred, international incidents, civil conflict and the division of our communities. Words, and our structure and interpretation of them have also awakened the entire index of honourable human emotions and actions. Powerful things, are they not? Depending upon whose minds and mouths structure and deliver them and whose ears and brains hear and process them, words can make us soar with the eagles and hunt with wild dogs.<br /><br />An evolutionary prank seems to have been played on the human race during its development of language. As you are about to discover, you can’t help but communicate deception even when intending to deceive, you can’t usually resist communicating hypocrisy when it’s present and you can’t help communicating the importance or unimportance of relationships and objects. You’re often grossly inadequate to the task of hiding your prejudices, foibles, misgivings and desires. You truly are your message.<br /><br /> Over time on this blog, we’ll review a broad range of words that win and lose hearts. The examples you encounter in this post will, hopefully, encourage you to open up your earlids to track the barely hidden meanings found in everyday speech patterns.<br /><br />Several years ago a world class athlete was tested for drugs and registered a positive result. When the scandal erupted he went to ground, leaving others to speak on his behalf. The media pounced on the story and, as is its custom, formed a pack and hunted down the athlete’s parents. Resistance was futile. His parents went into damage control and called a press conference. Below is a segment of what they said:<br /><br />“What we are saying is that **** is not into drugs. He is telling us that he is not a drugs cheat. We’re saying he has absolutely no reason to take steroids. It doesn’t make sense.”<br /><br />The parents were either lying or suspected their son had in fact swallowed performance pills. How can you be so sure? The answer is that when people tell the truth about serious matters they close off all other options. Normally if an individual is innocent, or known to be innocent, a strong, unequivocal denial will be made. If the athlete’s parents had said “He didn’t do it.” or “He is totally innocent” then you could assume an absence of deception.<br /><br />Instead, the parents told audiences what they were ‘saying’ and what the athlete was ‘telling’. This can be seen to be an unconscious ‘leakage’ of the truth behind the matter. The parents chose not to commit to a complete lie, as in “He didn’t do it”, but to say something that required substantially less commitment either way.<br /><br />There is a two-part principle in psycho-linguistics that states that when people make a truthful denial about an event that occurred in the past they will make an unambiguous commitment to their innocence. Secondly, their language will reflect the true tense of the situation. If they are talking about a past event they will deliver their statement in either first person singular past tense, “I didn’t do it”, or second person singular past tense, “He didn’t do it.<br /><br />There is no commitment present in the answer the parents gave and their tense is inconsistent. “**** is not into drugs” is second person singular present tense. In other words, **** is not into drugs now, but may well have been yesterday or at the time the test was taken. The supporting statements are simply an attempt to give plausibility to the lie and contain no commitment to the truth.<br /><br />The “What I’m saying” manoeuvre is a favourite of politicians and other players in social and political debate. You can speculate that they’ve used it so frequently in place of what they really ought to be saying that it’s become an habitual part of their linguistic behaviour. It never-the-less remains a marker for deceit deep in the memories of those who hear it, and often it serves to reinforce the cynicism people justifiably harbour towards their elected representatives.<br /><br />(c) Desmond Guilfoyle 2006Desmondhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14148245572518221306noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31408334.post-1155477875789033852006-08-13T07:00:00.000-07:002006-08-13T07:11:10.530-07:00Words: The Latent Power of 'Not'<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2039/3251/1600/words.jpg"><img src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2039/3251/400/words.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br/><br/> <br/><br/>Imagine the immense delight you would feel to have an audience break into spontaneous applause after you’d made a significant point. You can appreciate, can’t you, that a reaction like that signals an audience ‘going for’ you and your ideas in a very big and tangible way. <br/><br/>Consider, too, speaking in front of a group of people and triggering silent “ahuh” or “yes” responses all the way through your presentation. The air would be electric with positive energy, wouldn’t it? Now, what if you could create tactical sentences that excite those responses at will? You may say to yourself now, “that can be something really worth learning, can’t it?”<br/><br/>Review your experience of reading the paragraph above. Can you remember the number of times that you felt physically in alignment with its propositions? Maybe you felt a few ahuh-ahuh-ahuh’s as you quickly absorbed the points, or maybe the sensations of agreement and approval were a little stronger than that, providing more than enough reason for you to remain interested and continue reading.<br/><br/>The internal sensations you experience from a mild “ahuh” to a wanton ‘go-for-it’ impulse feel good. Consider the value of these positive feelings being associated with you and your content as you deliver your message. If people associate pleasure and stimulation with you and your message, three things happen. 1) People will remember more of your content, 2) People will be much more likely to embrace your message, and 3) People will come back for more. <br/><br/> The sensations associated with ‘Yes!’ and ‘go-for-it’ responses are an important consideration in the relationships Charismatic communicators establish with audiences. They are particularly gifted in the assessment and management of emotion in those they seek to persuade. They take constant readings and actively engage in regulating the emotional mercury as circumstance demands. This gift can be seen as a combination of self-appraisal, the capacity to read and manage an audience’s emotional state, and the ability to fashion words in such a way as to make them irresistible. <br/><br/>Having felt the power of ‘Yes!’ and understanding the value of incorporating ‘yes’ triggers into your speaking style, your next step is to learn some of the patterns and sequences charismatic communicators use to evoke those responses. In this article we will review what you will come to know as ‘tactical negation’, or in simple words using the word ‘not’ to trigger positive reactions in your audience.<br/><br/> THE ‘YES’ NOT<br/><br/> The word not and its derivatives exist only in language. This is to say that ‘not’s’ are a mental construct and generally do not mirror the way your brain works. They are tough on your unconscious mind and that is why, for example, you can’t not think of evoking ‘yes’ responses when instructed not to think about them, without thinking about them first and then attempting to stamp a not on them. As you can see, it’s not all that hard to tie your mind up in ‘not’s’, is it not? <br/><br/> Some ‘not’s’, however, are better than others. You may not have begun to wonder where this is all taking you, until now. And as you begin to consider the immense possibilities of this simple word, you can appreciate, can you not, how a few cleverly placed ‘not’s’ can bring about a strong sense of the opposite? O.K., enough is enough!<br/><br/> The ‘not’s’ you are going to find relatively easy to integrate into your language style are connected to what are called tag questions. Some tag questions, such as “right?”, “O.K.?”, “You know?” and others that are part of powerless language can reduce your effectiveness as a speaker. However, appropriately inserted tag questions containing a ‘not’ can have the effect of producing silent affirmation in your listeners, thus significantly increasing your effectiveness. It would be useful to be able to use a linguistic device like ‘not’ and have your audience nodding in agreement as you go along, wouldn’t it? <br/><br/> During the important phases of building an argument it can be extremely useful to evoke your listener’s silent agreement on the points you introduce, to encourage them to feel a ‘yes’ coming on at various stages during the delivery of your argument. <br/><br/>A series of tag questions have been inserted at crucial points in this article to illustrate the usefulness of tag questions containing a ‘not’. Perhaps you’d like to scan what you’ve read so far to discover for yourself how a negative like ‘not’ can induce internal sensations of agreement. <br/><br/>Having completed your scan, begin to think about how you can insert similar tag questions into your speaking style. Try out a few of the following tag questions on occasions and notice the physical symptoms of agreement they evoke.<br/><br/>Isn’t it?/is it not? couldn’t you? hasn’t it?/has it not?<br/> doesn’t it?/ does it not? could you not? aren’t we?/are we not?<br/> don’t you?/do you not? shouldn’t you? wouldn’t?/would it not?<br/> haven’t you?/have you not?/ should you not?/ you can add more to this list<br/> can’t you?/can you not?/ won’t you?/will you not?<br/><br/>In future articles, I will cover a range of linguistic and rhetorical devices that, if used intelligently, can increase immensely your power as a communicator and public speaker.<br/><br/>(c) 2004 - 2006 Desmond Guilfoyle<br/>Desmondhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14148245572518221306noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31408334.post-1154868356458472332006-08-06T05:29:00.000-07:002006-08-06T19:13:45.456-07:00Mega-Frame or Perish!<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2039/3251/1600/MarkBryan-GeneralPineapple%20copy.jpg"><img src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2039/3251/400/MarkBryan-GeneralPineapple%20copy.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br/><br/><br/><br/>A Mega-Frame is like ornate framing that surrounds a picture or painting. It encloses and defines information. Amateur and professional artists deeply appreciate the value of framing: the right frames will enhance their pictures - the wrong frames will devalue them. Many an artist has created works that have not become truly expressive or beautiful until they have been enclosed in the right frame. <br/><br/>Framing has a long and rich history. The Sophists of ancient Greece were masterful framers and re-framers. Aristotle coined the word “atechnoi” to describe it. One of ancient Rome’s greatest orators, Cicero, elevated frames (“statis”) to an art form. His speeches are still studied by students of influence and rhetoric. <br/><br/>Mega-framing describes Strategic or psychological framing and underpins the art of managing perception. It takes in the ‘big picture’ rather than detail. It may be an overarching theme that enjoins or describes the detail in your presentation, or it may link all your points to a lesson, a purpose or a moral. <br/><br/>Mega-frames are powerful because they allow you to enclose your message within a framework of higher intentions, virtues or a big-picture concept generally understood or held to be true by most people. This is termed frame alignment, and it refers to the linkage of a message to a set of common interests, values or beliefs, so as to position a speaker and audience as one. <br/><br/>In selecting a mega-frame, your aim can be to link your total presentation to one major idea, high principle or key value. <br/><br/>Every society is rooted in deep sets or clusters of ideals. In western society, for example, we ‘believe’ in democracy. From that belief comes a raft of ‘virtues’, represented by abstracts such as Freedom of Speech, the Right to Choose, Respect for Individual Rights, Freedom of Movement, Equity in Society (in some quarters), and so on. <br/><br/>The key is to establish a legitimate association between your idea/message/proposal/action and a universal virtue or value. Examine the following words and see if you can detect a “virtue” in them. Put them into a sentence, internalise them and notice the emotional responses they bring about.<br/><br/>• goodness • health • love • peace<br/>• choice • dream • happiness • fairness<br/>• liberty • vision • truth • justice<br/>• rights • honesty • opportunity • ethics<br/>• safeguard • success • strength • prosperity<br/>• freedom • righteousness • self-control • family<br/>• safety • purity • empowerment • compassion<br/>• protection • relief • scientific • respect<br/><br/>The above words represent values embraced by most people in western worlld. They are anchors for the aspirations of our communities and few individuals would venture to challenge them. Each person will have his or her own personal interpretation of what they mean, however, in all but a few cases, the feelings people associate with the words will be positive ones.<br/><br/>Virtue mega-frames educe unconscious acceptance of the content in which they are wrapped. They add immense power to your presentation because most people embrace them as self-evident truths. Review the following opening sentences and notice how a strong virtue frame helps the speaker evoke powerful emotional responses to support her case:<br/><br/>“This is not an issue about governments resuming private land to subdivide and on-sell. This is an issue about freedom. Freedom from the greedy intentions of bureaucrats who want to fund their grandiose projects by robbing you of your birthright; freedom to live your life on a piece of rural Australia without fear that the land of your labour can be snatched from you; freedom from the whims of fat-cats who live hundreds of miles away, never having experienced life in a close rural community.<br/><br/>I know that, as small landowners, you value freedom above all else. Why else would have you chosen to build your life here, free from all the contaminations of big-city life? Now is the time to fight for the justice of your cause; to fight for your freedom; to send an unequivocal message to those who would destroy your community forever. <br/><br/>And know that your calls will be heard by many decent-minded country Australians. They will help you in your fight, because they know that you must never, never, never, give in to bully boys from the big city, who, like common thieves, would take your freedom from you. They know that the price of giving in would be their freedom too.”<br/><br/>In everyday life, you assess information unconsciously through the filters of your values, beliefs, decisions and attitudes. Emotions, or feelings, erupt from the filtering process and drive action. It’s a natural process and enclosing your message in a Virtue Mega-Frame taps into that process. It allows you to filter your message through the core values, beliefs and embraced virtues of your audience.<br/><br/>(c) 2006 Desmond Guilfoyle<br/><br/><br/> Desmondhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14148245572518221306noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31408334.post-1153809366418545272006-07-24T23:27:00.000-07:002006-07-24T23:36:06.436-07:00Charismatic Communication – The Seven Keys to a Charismatic Voice<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2039/3251/1600/voice%20copy.jpg"><img src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2039/3251/320/voice%20copy.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br/><br/><br/>There are widely shared prototypes on the qualities that constitute leadership and leaders. Individuals who ‘fit’ universal categories, who look and sound the part in a particular culture, will be more readily embraced by audiences than those who don’t. In practical terms what this means is that if you want people to take notice of what you say, you have to project a visual and vocal image that meets as closely as possible the expectations of your target audience. <br/><br/>Research has shown that when people encounter you as a leader, speaker, or media spokesperson for the first time, they will scrutinise rapidly your looks and appearance and form an impression in seconds. They will scan your face and eyes first, make a judgement and move on to your body. This quick appraisal is usually followed by attention to your clothing and manner of dress, on which further assessments are made. They will then tune into your voice and notice your vocal quality and tone. If you fit their categories and you’re given the thumbs up, they may then choose to listen to what you’re actually saying. <br/><br/> The voice is one of the most valuable, albeit neglected, facets of image building. As an oratorical tool, it gives form, colour and meaning to what we say. Oddly, we find it easier to tell others if they’re speaking too fast, at a higher than optimal pitch, or too softly, for example, than to hear and correct our own deficiencies.<br/><br/>There are seven important elements to consider when building a charismatic voice:<br/><br/><strong>Dynamic Range:</strong> How loud the volume of the voice is. Your aim should be to be heard without shouting. You should never walk into a room voice first, but should have the flexibility to lower and raise your volume to match the moment and the content. <br/><br/>Be multi-dynamic .The loudness range you employ in everyday speech varies enormously according to circumstances. Avoid, at all costs, being mono-dynamic. A boring speaker who sends an audience to sleep is most likely to be mono-dynamic (one loudness) rather than monotonic (one pitch) So, be louder, be softer, and make sure there is plenty of variation, but don't yell.<br/><br/><strong>Resonance:</strong> Resonance occurs when the source of vibration (the vocal folds or chords) set up vibrations in other parts of your body. Your primary resonating structures (the parts of your body where sound waves directly or indirectly cause vibration) are your teeth, hard palate, nasal bone, cheekbones, sinuses, forehead, and cranium. If you resonate efficiently, the vibrations can continue to other parts of your body such as the rib cage and the spinal vertebrae. Speakers with well-trained voices ‘feel’ their voices all over their bodies.<br/><br/>Few of us use our full powers of resonance, thereby rarely ever reaching our potential of producing rich, beautiful, balanced and uninhibited sound. In fact, most speakers with untrained voices use about half or fewer of their resonating areas. Voices that don’t achieve full resonance potential, or that centre on a couple of resonators, usually sound a little chesty, tinny, thin, or nasal. <br/><br/>Read a book on voice production and practice balancing your resonators. Or, seek professional guidance from a voice specialist on how to build a rich and resonant voice. Everyone has the potential to create a mellifluous and infectious voice – you simply need to know how to release its power.<br/><br/><strong>Tone: </strong>The characteristics of a sound. A cow mooing has a different sound/tone than a dog growling. A voice that carries consternation can unsettle an audience, while a voice that carries humour or mischievousness can get an audience to smile. Effective speakers develop tonal flexibility raising and lowering the tone of their voices for emphasis and de-emphasis and for creating the right tonal ambience for their messages. <br/><br/>Two crucial elements of tone are Range and Energy. If you have a limited range as many people do and swing between three and five notes to colour your communication, most people will interpret your voice as being flat. <br/><br/>The typical response from people with a limited range and energy when their voices are recorded and played back is “My voice sounds so boring!” And so it does. If your range is repressed, and if the energy level is constant or weak, your voice may not sound boring on the inside because you can hear as well as feel its energy. <br/><br/>The voice you hear on a recording is the voice everyone else hears, and it can put people to sleep better than any proprietary medicine if it reflects a limited range. Remember that boring teacher or lecturer who made his subject about as interesting as Donald Rumsfeld’s wardrobe ? Or the public speaker who spoke with such flat tones that she cured an entire group of septuagenarians of their insomnia? They did it with tonal inflexibility. Unless you want to become celebrated as public speaking’s answer to mogadon, stretch your vocal range and vary your energy levels..<br/><br/><strong>Vocal Pitch:</strong> How high or low an individual’s resting voice is. Bill Clinton has a relatively light voice; Meryl Streep has a middle pitch, while Morgan Freeman has a very deep base voice. Every speaker has a range of notes from which they can draw. Even a light voice can be powerful if it resonates.<br/><br/>Many speakers automatically raise the pitch of their voice when they confront a microphone or begin speaking in front of an audience. This habit is often ingrained and may be caused by a combination of fear (stage fright) and the mistaken belief that the voice must be raised when you speak to an audience. If you begin speaking at a higher pitch, where are you going to go when you need to emphasise, or colour, your words - further upward into falsetto? Modern microphones make it unnecessary to sound as if you’re conducting a Transatlantic conversation entirely without the aid of technology. <br/><br/>Other speakers drop their pitch and speak from the bottom end of their range in the mistaken belief that they will deliver multiple ‘eargasms’ to their audiences. Males are particular offenders in forcing the voice deeper into the throat and chest. Some image advisers counsel their clients to drop their voice, but this is not the answer to adding authority to the voice. <br/><br/>Contrary to some beliefs, faked deep voices do not necessarily advertise high sperm counts and sexual prowess. If anything, they communicate sexual insecurity or gender ambivalence. The key to finding your best voice is to make the pitch compatible with the emotion being expressed and use tonal range to colour the words that need to be stressed. <br/><br/><br/><strong>Pace:</strong> This relates to the length of each sound we intone. Talking at a Gattling gun rate causes words and syllables to sound staccato, while talking slowly lengthens them, and, at extremes, makes you sound as though you were born in the Ozark Mountains. <br/><br/>Varying the pace, that is, walking, trotting, cantering and even galloping at times, evokes greater audience commitment because diversity stimulates attention. Pace also connects directly to emotion. For grave pronouncements pace tends to be slow, and for excitement it tends to be fast.<br/><br/><strong>Silence:</strong> Sometimes more can be said with silence than all the words in the dictionary. Silence is one of the great arts of communication. Cicero said 'there is not only an art, but an eloquence in it.'<br/>A pause effectively used can be of immense dramatic value. See how long you can pause before your alarm system is triggered, and then pause a little longer. The rules of pause are easy to integrate into your presentation or speech patterns:<br/><br/>A mini pause is about a half second in duration. It allows you to break your sentences into chunks or pieces of meaning. They help your audience absorb different ideas contained in your sentences or content.<br/><br/>A segment pause lasts around one to two seconds. You hear newsreaders use segment pause between stories so as to indicate contrast between one story and the next. This enables your listeners to avoid confusing one idea with another<br/><br/>A unit pause is between two and four seconds in duration. It allows your listeners time to let an important idea sink in and flags to them that something significant or momentous has been said.<br/><br/>A dramatic pause can last from a second to about five seconds. This form of pause can be used before or after important words or phrases. It can also be used to get your audience to fill in a word before you have said it. <br/><br/><strong>Emotional Fingerprinting:</strong> Some people call this Emphasis but I believe that emphasis is too narrow a definition to describe what one actually has to do to create true meaning through the delivery of words. Emphasis describes the colour we apply to words to convey meaning. By stressing or accenting words, we draw our listeners’ attention to them. In ordinary extemporaneous speech, the stress values you place on words are 100 percent accurate. You filter your stream of words in accordance with the emotional and intellectual value you place on their meaning in a conversation. <br/><br/>Combining effective emphasis with appropriate dynamic range, tone, pitch, resonance and pace reflect the emotional fingerprint of a message or part of a message. If your voice does not mirror congruently the emotional content of your message you create ambiguity in the minds of your listeners and give them something to think about other than the content of your message.<br/><br/>The natural filtering processes can go awry when we speak in front of gatherings of people. The emotion we feel in response to facing an audience sometimes overwhelms the emotion we would normally express through emphasis. We fall into silly vocal patterns like using an upward inflection at the end of each sentence, we punctuate our phrases with patterned umms and errs, we inhibit the vitality in our voice with restrictive breathing patterns, and so on. The end-result is a vocal performance than can be duller than dull.<br/><br/>© Desmond Guilfoyle 1998-2006<br/><br/><br/><br/> Desmondhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14148245572518221306noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31408334.post-1153789154623510722006-07-24T17:53:00.000-07:002006-07-27T22:47:26.720-07:00Creating Shared Space - Discovery, Groundwork & Dialogue<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2039/3251/1600/hough_waves3.0.jpg"><img src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2039/3251/320/hough_waves3.0.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br/><br/>Charismatic communication demands a transaction between speaker and listeners, and, as with most forms of fair-trading, customer satisfaction is predicated on exchanging things of equal value. For example, in exchange for a piece of electronic equipment at your local electrical store, you hand over its alleged value in dollars. In effect, the salesman buys your money with the piece of equipment. <br/><br/>Similar dynamics apply when you seek to buy people's commitment to your proposals or ideas. So, what currency do you need to use to purchase attention and a fair hearing from your audience? The currency comes in three denominations:<br/><br/>1. Discovery 2. Groundwork 3. Dialogue<br/><br/>You can choose to spend a reasonable amount of time in discovery mode. It's part of a process of learning about the people you intend to influence. It enables you to gain an insight into their personal worldviews, and the information you gather enables you to respect fully their models of the world and talk their particular dialect. <br/><br/>Groundwork is also a key element, as it represents the preparation phase, of involving others in discussion and debate on the desirability and value of your position and ideas. It enables you to respond with feedback and engage in a mutual search for alternatives. It also provides you with the opportunity to informally test ideas on potential adversaries and modify your approach as you go along. <br/><br/>You can test, revise, hone, and polish your message before you arrive at a final product that incorporates the key needs of your target group. There are many benefits in accommodating other people's concerns, ideas and solutions into your final strategy or proposal. Your groundwork phase can often save you from embarrassing and sometimes perilous consequences. <br/><br/>Dialogue is the art of talking with people rather than talking at them or pretending to consult. It can occur during every stage of the communication process. Formal dialogue, as in a presentation or proposal, best occurs at the stage when you are certain of winning assent and support. <br/><br/>Open dialogue encourages commitment and motivation. It alerts you to the emotional temperature of your audience or group and avoids having an idea or strategy stall through covert opposition and resistance at every turn.<br/><br/><strong><span style="color:#3333ff;">GROUNDWORK AND DISCOVERY</span></strong><br/><br/>It may not always be possible to know the individual needs, values, or beliefs of larger audiences. So, some communications, presentations, and speeches are necessarily "catch-all" affairs where you may use other powers of persuasion to draw listeners into shared space to discuss the merits of your ideas. Size of crowd, media speeches and interviews, diversity of the congregation, and other factors, sometimes make it difficult to gain an accurate measure of your audience. Never the less, it would be foolhardy to deliver a presentation to a group of people about whom you knew nothing. <br/><br/>Consider extolling the virtues of Australian beef to a group of Vegans, advocating Judaism to a gathering of Shiite fundamentalists, or telling Irish jokes at a Celtic Club. The point is that if you want your listeners to like and trust you, you must tailor your message to the people you're seeking to persuade. <br/><br/>Even rudimentary knowledge about your audience is better than none. But, the more information you have about your listeners, the better you will be able to communicate your message using their language register. After all, if a small or large group comes together to listen to you, it must, by definition, have something in common.<br/><br/>When you align your content with the audience's belief and value structures, you send the signal "We are of the same mind". High-order 'sameness' is one of the most important factors determining whether your presentation will win the day or fall on deaf ears. The more your audience views you and itself as being of one mind, the more receptive it will be to your ideas and proposals.<br/><br/>People make rapid, unconscious calculations on the degree of one-mindedness they share with others, based on finding answers to the following questions:<br/><br/>· Does the speaker/leader think like I do, or think like I want to think, and have a similar attitude and approach? <br/><br/>· Does the speaker/leader share and reflect my core beliefs and values?<br/><br/>. Does s/he share my traditions: roots, culture, education and background?<br/><br/>Approach, attitude, beliefs, and values are significant elements people apply in determining one-mindedness. In important situations when much is riding on the success of your presentation, it would be folly to misalign or mismatch the beliefs and values of your audience.<br/><br/>There are two principle ways to discover and mirror the beliefs and values of your audience or target group.<br/><br/>1. research and/or elicit them<br/><br/>2. mirror universal values and virtues<br/><br/>In researching the values and beliefs of your audience, speak to the client group before the presentation and ask questions along the lines of "What are the things that are important to you in bringing this product to market?" or "Why is it important to you to be seen as an independent operator?" The key part of your questions should be what, why, or how, is something important. If you listen closely to the responses, you will hear words that represent values, beliefs, and deeply held attitudes. Ask questions about: <br/><br/><span style="color:#3333ff;"><strong>SET ONE</strong></span><br/><br/>1. where people stand on particular issues - their values and beliefs?<br/><br/>2. what are the interesting aspects of particular corporate cultures?<br/><br/>3. where is the group focus at the moment?<br/><br/>4. what the primary needs are of the group - what does the group absolutely have to have in order to feel satisfied and fulfilled?<br/><br/>5. what particular challenges or special circumstance confront the group at the moment?<br/><br/>6. What does the group need to have in order to achieve its goals?<br/><br/>If you have been invited to speak to larger groups make a point of finding out as much as you can about the composition of your audience. Gathering the following types of information:<br/><br/><strong><span style="color:#3333ff;">SET TWO</span></strong><br/><br/>1. What are the basic demographics of the group: age range, gender, positional rank, social background, educational level, etc.?<br/><br/>2. What are the expectations of the audience? What do they expect of you and how has your presentation or speech been promoted?<br/><br/>3. Ask about attitudes, schools of thought, or general political persuasions. A group of liberal lawyers will require a different approach than a group of CBD accountants.<br/><br/>4. Discover as much as you can about the group or organisation that has invited you to speak. What is its history, what are its aims and objectives and what is its main thrust at the moment?<br/><br/>5. Find out if there are any specific issues the group is lobbying for or on which they have tgaken a strong position<br/><br/>6. Who are the group's patrons and senior membership?<br/><br/>Once you have created a map of the nature of your audience, you have an excellent starting point around which to structure the content of your presentation or influence strategy.<br/><br/>Inclusion and consensus-building are vital in gaining attributions of charisma and developing followers. Followers in the workplace are people who subscribe to your vision; who will invest energy, patience, trust, emotion and dedication in you and your goals. Emotional attachment to your vision and supporting values is essential if you want people to work as a team towards the missions you establish.<br/><br/>Charisma and influence are the result of quid pro quo's. In discovering the values and needs of your stakeholders, your part of the bargain is to do unto them as they would be done unto. You do unto "them" by establishing congruence between their needs and aspirations and your mission; by finding ways to share high-order values; by respecting individual differences you encounter, and linking beliefs and interests with your activities and goals. Your stakeholders' response will be greater emotional and motivational arousal, higher self-esteem, more cohesion and greater confidence in you. <br/><br/><strong><span style="color:#3333ff;">DIALOGUE</span></strong><br/><br/>Successful dialogue meets four fundamental tenets of effective communication: <br/><br/>1) credibility<br/><br/>2) emotional affiliation <br/><br/>3) 'live' evidence <br/><br/>4) common ground and shared benefits<br/><br/>The first issue you can choose to reflect deeply on when seeking to get people on board is that of credibility. Your own standing with individuals, groups, and audiences marks the initial barrier to be overcome. <br/><br/>Credibility is paradoxically both durable and fragile. It requires constant nurturing during the dialogue phase, particularly in the workplace. Once earned and maintained it can usually withstand the occasional expression of human frailty. <br/><br/>Many leaders, managers, and public figures imagine they enjoy greater credibility than they actually do. They often assume that position and authority is all that's required in shifting opinion, motivating people, and getting others to do what they want. <br/><br/>As any reputable leadership tome will tell you, the 'Pharaoh' era of getting results or attitude change through naked power and proclamation is long dead. And yet, the corporate world and public life are teeming with latter day Tut's and Cleo's who imagine they can shape people's opinions and behaviours with a wave of their royal sceptres and threats of public executions. <br/><br/>Today, authority and credibility do not come with the leadership territory. The trend in most of the western world over the last three decades is that of distrust towards, and challenge of, authority. If you want people to follow your wishes in the twenty-first century, you may like to choose the leadership tools and language of today in place of the quaint relics of the past. <br/><br/>Credibility maintenance at close quarters, such as the workplace or within smaller groups where contact is ongoing, is in essence no different to that of public credibility. It is earned from two principal sources. <br/><br/>Firstly, if you have established a reputation of competency or knowledge in a particular field, your colleagues or listeners will generally endow you with an appropriate degree of credibility within that specialist field. <br/><br/>Looking the part and mirroring sameness are also important factors in establishing credibility. But, an essential element in both workplace and public credibility is continuous maintenance. Personal credibility is a quality that must be ceaselessly affirmed. <br/><br/>Secondly, if you have demonstrated over time that you can be trusted to serve mutual interests over personal interests, your personal credibility will be higher. If you're generally considered to be a person who doesn't close the door on your morality and ethics when you leave home for work, you will have a significant persuasion advantage. <br/><br/>Professional ability and work-based relationships are key factors in credibility in the workplace, whereas appearance and demonstrations of expertise are important to public credibility. In mapping out a workplace or public persuasion plan, the issues of professional expertise and personal relationships form a critical part of any strategy. <br/><br/>You would be well advised to evaluate your ratings in both categories prior to embarking on any major persuasion undertaking. The questions you need to answer as objectively as you can are as follows:<br/><br/>Professional Expertise: <br/><br/>1) What are my target audience's perceptions about my knowledge and track record in the area in which I will seek to influence them?<br/><br/>2) Is my expertise acknowledged and accepted?<br/><br/>3) What other sources of knowledge and expertise can I reference and apply to enhance the credibility of my proposal, strategy, idea, etc.? <br/><br/>4) Who else can I recruit to enrich the credibility of my idea, project, etc.?<br/><br/>Personal Relationships:<br/><br/>1) Does my target audience trust me? Have I shown trustworthiness over time?<br/><br/>2) Do those I'm seeking to persuade view me as someone who shares kudos with them?<br/><br/>3) Do they view me as one of them and one who listens to them?<br/><br/>4) Am I in political accord with the group on this issue?<br/><br/>5) Am I in tune with them intellectually and emotionally<br/><br/>Workplace persuasion often goes awry when inexperienced managers seek to use the force of their position to effect change without attending to the above elements. Public and work-based credibility can be monitored and managed, and is the end result of what you are, what you say, and what you do. <br/><br/>If you desire to be a person of high credibility in the eyes of others, you can choose to conform your words and deeds to templates of trustworthiness embraced by your target audience.<br/><br/>Future pots in this series will explore 'live evidence'. See previous post for developing emotional affiliation with audiences.<br/><br/>(c) Desmond Guilfoyle 1998-2006Desmondhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14148245572518221306noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31408334.post-1153576239789963302006-07-22T05:42:00.000-07:002006-07-22T06:50:39.823-07:00How to Annihilate Your Credibility<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2039/3251/1600/chris_landreth_1.jpg"><img src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2039/3251/320/chris_landreth_1.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br/><br/><span style="font-family:arial;">Presentations and addresses, ideally, should be inspiring and informational. For people to take notice of what you say and act on it, it is imperative you pay attention to the minute-to-minute management of your credibility and trust quotients.</span><br/><br/><span style="font-family:arial;">If you wish to become a virtuoso in getting an audience’s back up, the following credibility and trust annihilators may help you create the perfect recipe for suspicion and doubt. With a little practice, who knows, you could become a world authority on the subject?<br/><br/>1. TRY TO BROWBEAT YOUR AUDIENCE: Tell your audience that they’re here to change their minds to your way of thinking – read your map on to their territory.<br/></span><i><span style="font-family:arial;"><br/>"It’s essential that you change the way you think about and do things. I think that unless you dramatically switch direction and follow my plan for this, we haven’t a chance in hell of getting this project up”</span></i><span style="font-family:arial;"><br/><br/>2. TRY TO FOOL YOUR AUDIENCE: It rarely ever works. Audiences usually know when someone is trying to fool them because they’ve had a lifetime of experience fooling and being fooled. They sense when a speaker’s delivery and content are congruent and have inbuilt ways of determining whether he/she "walks the talk". They also sense when someone has chapter heading knowledge and can recite nice, plump clichés without really knowing the substance and depth of the ‘book’. When you are speaking, your audience needs to believe that you are not just a noisy bucket of water, but, rather, a fountain of knowledge.<br/><br/> 3. CREATE SUSPICION ABOUT YOUR MOTIVES: Create suspicion that you are seeking to influence your audience for reasons of pure self-interest: that you have everything to gain from their assent<br/></span><i><span style="font-family:arial;"><br/> “Forget the other wealth management funds. First National is one of the best companies I’ve ever held the agency for and I can tell you that the level of professionalism in fund management is second to none.”</span></i><span style="font-family:arial;"><br/><br/><br/>4. DEVELOP A SERIOUS “I” INFECTION: Demonstrate through your behaviour that your speech is all about you, and not about your audience. Constantly self-reference your material, inflate you self-importance with wonderfully telling stories about yourself. Show interest only in your agenda<br/><br/><i>“Look, I’m not really interested in history. What I’m about is getting some serious runs on the board now. I think that’s the best option, and I believe that will set us up better for next year. I think that is priority number one and I reckon that is where most of our development funds should go ”</i> <br/><br/>5. TREAT YOUR AUDIENCE WITH CONTEMPT: Talk down to them. After all, they’re just plebs. Indicate in your words and ideas that you are the guru and they are the followers. <br/><br/><i>“Anybody who knows anything about Risk Analysis would tell you that you’re on the wrong track. If you listen to me and follow what I say then you might have a chance of working out where the real risks and opportunities are”</i><br/><br/>6. USE INSIDE STORIES. Be sure to talk about actions, stories, and anecdotes involving people that the audience knows nothing about. Put a barrier between you and the majority of your listeners. Keep them in the dark. Make them feel that they are not among the elite group of which you are a member. Use their valuable time to have private, in-house dialogue with some individuals. They will be riveted.<br/><br/>7. BECOME A SPIN DOCTOR: Twist facts and truths to suit your argument or your convenience<br/><br/><i>“We have simply made all the necessary logistical arrangements to have our troops in place in the Middle East in the event that the United Nations sanctions military actions. We have not made a decision to commit our troops to war, nor have we made a commitment to a non-UN pre-emptive strike. We are just readying ourselves in case”</i> <br/><br/>8. CREATE DOUBT ABOUT COMMITMENT: raise doubts about your belief in what you’re saying or show that you chop and change with the prevailing seasons. <br/><br/><i>“Circumstances may have dictated that I say that at the time. People say a lot of things, but what I’m saying now is that this program is the one that is going to deliver what we need.”</i> <br/><br/>9. PERSONIFY GOD-LIKE PERFECTION: Never admit to any flaws in your idea, argument, or proposal. Exaggerate excessively the worth of your own proposals and totally demolish the proposals of others<br/><br/><i>“This plan is foolproof. It’s guaranteed to increase your customer flow by one hundred and fifty percent. The other plan on the table is rubbish!”</i> <br/><br/><i>“New blush blows all other toilet cleansers out of the bowl: with blush, germs are history, your family will love you more, you’ll never die, and your fuel economy will go through the roof.”</i><br/><br/>Never admit to any wrongdoing<br/><br/><i>“It was the absolute right thing to say. The fact that the markets responded negatively was due to the paranoia of a few idiots who caused a panic.”</i><br/><br/>10. LET PEOPLE KNOW YOU’RE A LIAR: tell your audience that you tell the occasional porkie pie <br/><br/><i>“When someone raises that objection I tell them it’s nothing to worry about and really get them to focus on the benefits. You don’t want investors worrying about the market bottoming out.”</i> <br/><br/>11. LOWER THE VALUE OF YOUR WORD: Go back on your word without any apologies or requests to be released from a commitment.<br/><br/><i>“Yes I did say we would consult on this, but there just wasn’t the time.”</i><br/><br/>12. ATTACK OR MAKE YOUR AUDIENCE THE BUTT OF YOUR JOKES: If you have a streak of the stand-up comic in you, humour can be an effective device if placed tactically throughout your presentation. <br/><br/>Self-deprecating humour that reveals your own vulnerabilities and foibles works as long as it is tasteful and ego-neutral. Stories about people and events, other than your audience, if done in good taste, sets the tone for both message retention and acceptance. But if you make your audience the butt of your jokes you create a division between yourself and your audience, and it may severely limit the impact of your message. <br/><br/>Attacking an audience, or making a direct attack on an audience’s belief or values systems, even if not meant to offend, will produce defensive and sometimes aggressive responses.<br/><br/>13. TEST YOUR AUDIENCE’S PATIENCE: The normal quid pro quo that speakers establish with audiences is based on investment of attention versus keeping to agreed time. Your listeners can be very unforgiving if you go over the time you are allocated to deliver your presentation. Preparation should ensure you don’t do this. If, however, you need more time, you should ask your audience for it and you’d better ensure you make it worth their while. <br/><br/>If no time restrictions have been given, you must decide during your preparation phase the optimum amount of time it will take to persuasively deliver your message. Then, tell your audience at the beginning of your presentation how much time you are asking them to invest – and stick to it. <br/><br/>"</span><i><span style="font-family:arial;">We have about twenty minutes to explore the moral ramifications of gene therapy with you and during this brief time…." <br/><br/>"I will be your speaker and you will be my audience. If you get done before I do, please let me know."<br/><br/></span></i><i><span style="font-family:arial;"><br/>“Those are fairly hard chairs, and I believe that your backsides can sustain about 15 minutes on the topic of Getting the Best from your Advertising Dollar, and so……</span></i><span style="font-family:arial;"><br/>…”<br/><br/>14. READ A PREPARED TEXT. Unless you can read a text like the best of orators, looking up to the audience more than you look down, drop the idea of reading prepared texts. Prepared texts send a number of signals to audiences, not the least that you do not have the confidence to speak from your heart and mind! <br/><br/>Cue sheets, or dot points designed to assist you in making crucial points are quite acceptable, but if you feel that your content must be read, hire a professional actor who is trained to bring it to life!! <br/><br/>Know your material back to front. Rehearse your main information loops. Edit and shape your presentation as you go along, keeping a keen eye on how your audience is responding to each point. If your audience reacts favourably to a particular point, expand on it. Feed them to the point of nearly sate their hunger, remembering to leave them with a taste for a little more.<br/><br/><strong>Summary</strong><br/><br/>The above trust annihilators are some of the most common faux pas committed in the name of persuasion. It may be occurring to you that audience trust goes hand in hand with how you manage your credibility. <br/><br/>Become an expert in credibility mismanagement. Notice what you and other people do to annihilate trust and lose the respect of colleagues and audiences. Keep building on your observational experiences, become a people watcher in persuasion situations and begin to observe the subtle and not so subtle changes in people’s demeanour when you or colleagues press their resistance buttons. <br/><br/>(c) Desmond Guilfoyle 2004<br/></span><br/> Desmondhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14148245572518221306noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31408334.post-1153562920143485952006-07-22T03:03:00.000-07:002006-07-22T03:08:40.150-07:00A Short Essay on Form and Emotion<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2039/3251/1600/jason%20lunford%20fractal%20copy.0.jpg"><img src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2039/3251/320/jason%20lunford%20fractal%20copy.0.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br/><span style="font-family:arial;"><br/><br/>Recent research has shown that in respect to emotion charismatic communicators:<br/><br/>1. have reached a level of psychological maturity whereas they feel emotions themselves quite strongly; <br/><br/>2. have a well-developed capacity to induce emotions in others <br/><br/>Assuming that you have achieved a reasonable level of emotional and ethical maturity, let us look at some of the tools and skills you will need to improve your ability to evoke particular emotional states in others.<br/><br/>Delivery style (Form) and structure of messages (Form) have been shown to outweigh content in numerous studies. In the nineties, studies of leader rhetoric by Professor Jay Conger of the University of Southern California and others strongly suggested that word structure, use of symbols and expression are deciding factors in the extent to which people will become aroused, inspired and committed to a leader's message. Arousal and the feelings of inspiration, of course, are emotional states.<br/><br/><strong><span style="color:#ff0000;">Evoking Emotions</span></strong><br/><br/>Emotion-based messages are more effective in gaining acceptance of an idea than reason-based or logical approaches. In an important paper on nonverbal skill, personal charisma and initial attraction researchers go as far as to claim that personal charisma centres on "dramatic flair involving the desire and ability to communicate emotions and thereby influence others." Researchers seem to have finally caught up with what the advertising industry has taken as a given for the last seven decades: you don't sell the sausage, you sell the sizzle. <br/><br/>Charismatic and influential communicators recognise that meaning is the outcome of human intercourse. They work with their listeners to create and shape the definitions that lead to meaning, and emotions play a primary role in creating meaning. <br/><br/>Charismatic communicators view followers and audiences as active participants and not passive spectators. Those who think and behave charismatically understand that emotion drives action. They do not skint on the expression of their own emotions and they create scenarios in which to share emotion with their followers. <br/><br/>To understand the importance of emotion, turn on your television set and study the commercial breaks, read a newspaper for the ads or listen to radio commercials for the underlying emotions they evoke: <br/><br/>A busty bimbo draped over a Buick in a local newspaper ad. Television images of fun-loving, acne-free teenagers hooning around on a beach with the girls of their dreams and drinking brown muck in a shapely bottle. A commercial featuring a warm, loving family (grandpa included) expressing terminal goodwill towards each other, while pushing burgers with a fat content exceeding that of Jay Leno down their throats.<br/><br/>Let's take the hamburger example to illustrate how you can be drawn in by messages designed to evoke unconscious choice by pressing your emotional hot buttons. The first thing to consider is that you do not enter the experience of viewing the ad with an empty mind. You bring to the experience all your memories, hope, values, beliefs, past decisions, perceptions and so on. Imagine you're the parent of a fairly young family. Now let's look at what the hamburger ad depicts: <br/><br/>A warm and friendly atmosphere (enhanced by yellow lens filters and perfect mood music), a young family in deep rapport, the kids impeccably behaved and directing loving looks at mum and dad. Mum winks at dad with a sweetness that would melt the heart of Pol Pot as she takes a delicate bite of her burger. Little Melissa manages to do the impossible - suck on her shake and smile at the same time. Grandad playfully runs one hand through little Troy's number two haircut, clutching a handful of golden french fries in the other, mouth poised to receive them. The junk-food giant's name and logo leap on to the screen, and a jingle reinforces the family theme. <br/><br/>The message? Families that eat cholesterol bombs together will be so close they can hear each other's arteries harden! Your unconscious response? Wouldn't it be great to take the family into a restaurant and have that experience? <br/><br/>What a feeling of longing the scene would evoke in parents of real-life Melissas and Troys: warts and all kids who affect to have the word 'no' permanently formed on their lips. Kids who cost a fortune to educate; who won't clean their rooms; who always want something, and who can be so emotionally draining with their petulance and self-absorption you feel like strangling them at times. <br/><br/>And to have a pop like that! A gentle patriarch who isn't always interfering with the raising of the kids; whose language isn't peppered with 'shoulds', ought to's' and 'musts' and whose emotions are not imprisoned behind a wall of post World War Two machismo. <br/><br/>The spin-doctors that created the ad would be highly aware of the pressures of family life. They may well have researched them to identify key triggering agents. They know through experience and research that a powerful 'go for it' impulse is required to overcome the quite natural objections middle class parents may have to fat-saturated junk food. They needed something quite extraordinary to produce an emotional propellant, and what better motive in these days of unhappy or stressed families than a promise of a familial Garden of Eden at a local hamburger joint? <br/><br/>The above is an example of unethical persuasion, because everyone who has ever had the impulse to rush into a junk food outlet, ostensibly to have a family experience, knows that the experience never matches up to the promise. <br/><br/>However, the process the advertising agency designed to create and share an emotional space with its target audience is similar to that of effective charismatic communiactors. The only significant difference is that ethical charismatic communicators would choose to sell something more meaningful and healthy than a double-beef-triple-bacon cheeseburger with fries. They would evoke emotion in what they passionately believed were legitimate story lines to reinforce a major point.<br/><br/>In our professional lives we may like to operate under the illusion that reason is the basis of most of our major decisions. Why is it, then, that in survey after survey of business leaders and executives the vast majority of respondents report that they make their major decisions mainly on hunches and "gut feel"? <br/><br/>Under the veneer of reason you will inevitably discover emotions at play. This is why the expression, reading and evoking of emotions are so important in the persuasion process<br/><br/>Ethical charismatic communicators are mindful that emotions play the primary role in people's choices to act or not to act on their ideas and suggestions. They understand two important aspects of emotional exchange. First, they pay attention to their audiences' collective state of mind and constantly monitor for changes in the emotional state of their listeners. They calibrate responses and fashion the form and content of their messages so as to pace and lead their audience to more receptive emotional states.<br/><br/>The second important factor about those who act and behave charismatically is that they give themselves permission to show the degree of emotional commitment they have in their own ideas and visions. They reveal that the origins of their ideas are not only from their heads but also from their hearts. From a whisper to a roar, the emotional appeal of their messages mirrors what they more than often accurately perceive are the emotional states of their audiences. <br/><br/>(C) Desmond Guilfoyle 1998<br/><br/></span><br/>Desmondhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14148245572518221306noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31408334.post-1153547640938926682006-07-21T22:32:00.000-07:002006-07-21T22:54:01.820-07:00Charismatic Communication – Ten Tips for Building and Maintaining Credibility<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2039/3251/1600/fractal%20sargeant%20copy.jpg"><img src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2039/3251/320/fractal%20sargeant%20copy.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br/><strong><br/></strong><span style="font-family:arial;"><br/>Some people imagine they carry credibility somewhere on their person. If that were the case you’d have most of the politicians and half of the CEO’s around the world lining up for credibility implants! <br/><br/>Credibility isn’t something you have. It’s an honorific title bestowed on you by others. It is the end result of people placing their trust in you, and this is an important point to acknowledge and embrace. Credibility is earned when you adequately satisfy criteria for expertise and engender trust through building meaningful relationships with those you seek to persuade. <br/><br/>Credibility management essentially describes the relationship you establish and maintain with your audience. It is the result of the minute-to-minute management of your audience’s credulity meter or the day-to-day management of honourable workplace or professional relationships. Charismatic communicators tend to engage in continuous monitoring to ensure that the credulity of their listeners is not tested either by what they say or how they say it. <br/><br/>When credibility is absent, when credulity has been stretched to breaking point, your message will have about as much impact as a self-confessed serial burglar trying to convince a group of right-wingers that the three strikes law is unconscionable. At best you may evoke mute indifference, at worst, open scorn, astonishment, and you’d better believe it, organised hostility. <br/><br/>The following actions and behaviours enhance credibility and receptivity, both in the workplace and in public forums:<br/><br/><strong><span style="color:#ff9900;">1) </span></strong>Begin your persuasion strategy with a passionate search for answers. Identify an issue, problem, or effect, and invite your listeners to help you solve it. Instead of announcing your perfect solution and reading your map on to your listeners’ territory, invite your audience to join in you creating a joint map of the available solutions.<br/> <br/><i>”Competition in our industry is overwhelming. Everyone is competing on price. But, is a price war the answer to maintaining our market share, or can we up the ante and compete on other terms? Can we explore those other terms? Can we discover opportunities that, if exploited, would give us an edge over our competition, above and beyond that of price?”</i> <br/><br/><strong><span style="color:#ff9900;">2)</span> </strong>Demonstrate that you are putting your audience’s interests first. No plan, idea, or proposal is perfect. Your outcomes can be better, in terms of trust and credibility, if you point out the negatives and deficiencies in your proposal, rather than have your audience discover them for itself.<br/></span><i><span style="font-family:arial;"><br/>“This new system will deliver fantastic efficiencies in the medium to long term, but it would be remiss, indeed deceitful of me, not to alert you to the short term risks.</span></i><span style="font-family:arial;"><br/><br/><strong><span style="color:#ff9900;">3)</span> </strong>Make your audience your primary focus. A trap in which many leaders and speakers fall is that of their “I’s” being too close together. Even if credibility is high, a sure way to lose it is to come across as self-obsessed and seemingly unmindful of the audience’s presence.<br/><br/>Often leaders are so driven by their own ideas that they fail to acknowledge or validate the concerns and questions of those they’re seeking to persuade. They dismiss or ignore ‘What if?’” and supplementary questions with what is often interpreted as extraordinary rudeness. Little do they realise that rail-roading is one of the most prevalent triggers of resistance in audiences.<br/><br/>If you want people to embrace your ideas or proposals it is better that your attention is directed almost exclusively on your audience, constantly drawing your audience into a space where you can work on and negotiate shared perceptions and meaning. Effective persuasion involves a coalition of both the persuaders and listener’s views formed into one outcome.<br/><br/>Questions and interruptions should be treated as opportunities for dialogue. Questioners can be framed as valuable contributors to the process and not fobbed off:<br/><br/><i>“I really appreciate you sharing your observations and doubts. Sceptics are a valuable commodity and I would encourage you all to become sceptical about what I say, because, as everyone knows, sceptics actually try things out to discover for themselves if an idea can work for them. In trying this idea on for size you can help make it better.”</i><br/><br/> <strong><span style="color:#ff9900;">4)</span> </strong>Talk on the level of your listeners. You may experience warm fuzzies when you let our ego out for exercise and adopt a superior position to that of your listeners, but they won’t. <br/>You may know more than your listeners, but your job as a communicator isn’t to intimidate them with your self-importance, isn’t to tell them how much you know and how little they know. If you want to be a peacock go live in a zoo. You role as an agent of influence is primarily to encourage your listeners to think much the same as you do on a particular issue, subject, or proposal. <br/>Use the language of inclusion. Speak on the level of your listeners and build the framework for your ideas around the goals, expectations, rewards, values, and feelings of those you wish to persuade.<br/><br/><i>“Well, at first I was as confused as anyone. When I came across gap analysis, I thought it was something a proctologist did. Then I discovered as you can that it’s an important tool that you can use to better plan the kind of work you want your people to do.</i> <br/></span><span style="color:#ff9900;"><strong><span style="font-family:arial;"><br/>5) </span></strong></span><span style="font-family:arial;">Be candid. How often have you witnessed political figures die lingering public deaths because of the insane political convention that demands defence of the indefensible? How often over the last decade and a half have public figures been sent to Coventry not for their original offence but for covering it up and lying about it? Wriggling out of situations with attempts at distortion and deception blows your credibility out of the water. The one great exception to this in recent times is Bill Clinton and there are significant reasons why he survived that will be explored in later articles.<br/>Public figures frequently cultivate images that incorporate God-like qualities of self-possession and uncompromising virtue. This is often the first major snare they set for themselves. If you promote yourself as a reincarnation of St. Peter, do expect to have some difficulty in admitting your cock-ups. In engineering your public identity, it’s worth your consideration to present as an individual with a strong commitment to making life better for your constituents or colleagues than a candidate for canonisation, if for no other reason than you have a shorter distance to fall. <br/><br/><strong><span style="color:#ff9900;">6)</span> </strong>Be sincere and say only what you believe. Decades of lies in advertising, poetic political ‘truths’, corporate mendacity, and high levels of distrust towards the mass media, have made your average punter a fairly wary individual.<br/> <br/> According to recent social research, people are a fairly cynical lot. They have suffered much as consumers, as members of the polity and at the hands of those who toil in the fields of deceit and human exploitation.<br/><br/>The excesses of the past have made the job of ethical persuaders and speakers a difficult one, and perhaps that is as it should be. As novel as it may sound, real sincerity can now be classed, to use the parlance of professional salespeople, as a unique selling position, or USP. One of the easiest ways to reinforce your credibility at work or in the public arena is to build a reputation of sincerity.<br/> <br/>If, for example, someone challenges you on the basis of inconsistency with previous statement, be sincere in your response. Admit the inconsistency and turn it your advantage.<br/> </span><i><span style="font-family:arial;"><br/>“You’re right I did say that because it was what I believed was true. I now have a different view since having learned some things along the way. So (chuckle) thank for reminding me that I’m wiser today than I was then.”</span></i><span style="font-family:arial;"><br/> <br/></span><span style="color:#ff9900;"><strong><span style="font-family:arial;"><br/>7) </span></strong></span><span style="font-family:arial;">Make the claim fit the idea or product. Your credibility is not only based on expertise and personal status but is also tied up with the quality of your ideas and believability of your statements. Claims need to be supported, inferences and conclusions should be crafted carefully, and your evidence backed up by credible research and back-grounding.<br/><br/>People can and do confuse fact with opinion, opinion with well-reasoned argument, and inference with truth. You may it extremely useful to have a clear understanding of the distinctions between facts, opinions, and reasoned argument, because it may temper any tendency you may have to present opinions as evidence or make unsupportable claims. <br/><br/>Many speakers fail in the persuasion process because they confuse the above categories. Remember that just because you believe something is true doesn’t necessarily make it so. To support a point, idea, or hypothesis you have to do much more than articulate what you think is true. You have to build your argument on solid foundations of fact, reason, and emotion.<br/> <br/>The claims you make should never stretch the credulity of your audience. A useful rule of thumb is to match your claims with what you know your listeners will believe. You may well be of the opinion that your idea is the best thing since the silicon chip, but if you don’t have the evidence to support the assertion, you would be well advised to consider tempering your claims to what you know will be accepted by those listening.<br/><br/>There are two ways in which to present opinions that increase the probability of them being accepted by your listeners:<br/><br/><strong><span style="color:#ff9900;">1.</span></strong> If you have occasion to state an opinion, use non-declarative language such as “It’s my belief”, “I have found”, “It seems to me”, “I feel” etc. For example, “I feel the movie had too much unnecessary violence in it.” This signals that you are offering an opinion as an opinion and not stating it as a fact. However, there is still a risk that people will oppose what you say and derail your argument or discount your credibility.<br/><br/><strong><span style="color:#ff9900;">2.</span> </strong>The following technique substantially increases the likelihood of your opinion being accepted by your audience. <br/><br/>Break the active language rule and strategically use passive language that displaces you from the ownership of the opinion. For example,<i> “Some people would argue that the movie contained too much violence.”</i> <br/><br/>To add power to your opinion draw your listener into shared space. Continue the statement with something like the following:<br/> <br/><i>“And when you think about it you may find yourself agreeing that they are right. Take the beach scene. Was all the graphic footage necessary to make the point? You may think it wasn’t.”</i> <br/><br/><strong><span style="color:#ff9900;">8)</span> </strong>Maintain your integrity at all costs. If someone says to you, “I shouldn’t be telling you this, but did you know that…” what message are they sending you? Sure, they may be sending you a signal that they trust you, but are they not also sending you a signal that they can’t be trusted, that they can’t keep a secret?<br/> <br/>The same logic applies when you tell other people that you bend the truth to suit some occasions. One of the easiest ways to create distrust and suspicion in an audience is to suggest that lying to a third party or parties is an acceptable practice. Of course you wouldn’t lie to the audience! But, the punters out there, that’s a different story!<br/> <br/>The fact is that if you encourage people to act dishonestly or suggest there are times when embroidery of the truth is an acceptable practice, your audience will begin to seriously discount your credibility.<br/><br/><strong><span style="color:#ff9900;">9)</span></strong> Keep your promises and commitments. A major credibility annihilator is that of welching on a promise or overlooking a commitment you have made to colleagues, clients, or groups. Charismatic leaders recognise that people often build their hopes around promises, and if a promise is broken, hopes are dashed: the next promise that’s made won’t be believed.<br/> <br/>Promises often raise high expectations, particularly when made about career, livelihood, performance of products, and results and outcomes. If you don’t come through on a major promise or commitment, the damage to your credibility will remain as long as there are people around to remember it. <br/><br/><strong><span style="color:#ff9900;">10)</span></strong> Earn the right to be heard. Expertise is a significant variable in the credibility equation. If anyone questions your right to speak on a subject, take careful notice. Do not dismiss it with an indignant humph or an acidic comeback line.<br/> <br/> Open questioning of your credibility is a valuable form of feedback and gives you an opportunity to turn resistance into acceptance. Note how the following speaker seizes the opportunity to improve his credibility quotient when it’s questioned:<br/><br/> <i>“You’re absolutely right in suggesting that I have to earn the right to be taken notice of. I strongly believe that it’s important to question the credentials of people as you do, because it enables us to give proper weight to what people say, doesn’t it? The proposal before you today is based on a highly successful model designed by experts at Chicago and tested by GMH for three years.”<br/></i><br/> There are numerous ways to enhance your expertise in public life and in the workplace. Gaining qualifications, writing articles, papers, and books, nominating for awards, garnering the support of luminaries in your chosen field and achieving media exposure for particular endeavours are but a few means of building on your expertise-based credibility. <br/><br/> Developing a history of sound judgement in your area of endeavour, proving yourself to be knowledgeable and well informed on your subject matter, demonstrating a thorough understanding of your material, and building a solid track record of success can also enhance perceptions of expertise. <br/><br/>© Desmond Guilfoyle 1998-2006<br/><br/></span><br/><br/><br/><br/><br/> Desmondhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14148245572518221306noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31408334.post-1153410334534049592006-07-20T08:41:00.000-07:002006-07-20T08:50:22.426-07:00All Behaviour is Communication<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2039/3251/1600/alien-magic-matrix-3d-communication-brings-your-consciousness-to-the-higher-levels-of-reality.0.jpg"><img src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2039/3251/400/alien-magic-matrix-3d-communication-brings-your-consciousness-to-the-higher-levels-of-reality.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br/><br/><span style="font-family:arial;">Your body movements, the way you use your eyes and face, your changing skin tone, your physical posture, your voice tonality, pace, and pitch, and even your level and positioning of breath, give clues to other people about who and what you are. <br/><br/>In our distant evolutionary past, the accurate sending and receiving of those clues could mean the difference between grunts of approval and acceptance or assault and battery with a crude weapon. <br/><br/>Today, we invest a large part of our early lives learning how not to show what we’re thinking, perfecting how not to reveal our feelings and practising how not to be read or understood by others. We learn to manage the impressions others have of us during an uncompromising indoctrination into polite society in our formative years. <br/><br/>We create public and often private facades to hide behind, to put people off the scent. We have been conditioned to send out false cues to project as someone other than who we really are. As our culture has allegedly become more sophisticated, it seems that one of the greatest fears to emerge is that of being discovered to be completely and wondrously human. <br/><br/>We have developed a range of defences to prevent people from discovering that we are as human as the next person. We are taught to devalue the honest expression of our emotions. We learn, usually in collusion with significant others like parents and teachers, to suppress spontaneous reactions and expressions of true sentiment. <br/><br/>By the time we reach our mid-twenties, many of us have become so good at self-containment that even those closest to us rarely get a glimpse of our truer selves. The tyranny of compliance and socialisation exact a high price. <br/><br/>So, when we ‘do’ containment, what does it look and sound like to others? Most self-containment acts are very amateurish indeed. To excel at self-containment you need to focus on two things simultaneously: hiding your feelings, opinions, and responses and creating a credible mask to replace them. <br/><br/>It’s very difficult to think and hit the ball at the same time, and most of us simply don’t have the expertise and flexibility to do that. The best we can usually come up with is some neutral or dissociated state that can at times be interpreted as even-tempered. With time and practice it can come to represent our so-called nature, and at worst we may mirror the disposition and energy of that new breed of deadpan comics. How come we laugh at them when so many of us are like them? <br/><br/>Even temperament is a favoured disguise in our culture. The carefully modulated voice, the narrow tonal range, controlled facial mask, purposeful and limited body movement, and neutral postures are occasionally interpreted as signs of stability and emotional control. But, do those so-called qualities win hearts and minds, build corporate cultures, convince people to support your ideas, or stop an ugly development from blighting your suburb? For that you need to give voice, body, and passion to your convictions. <br/><br/><strong>RENOVATING YOUR PUBLIC PERSONALITY</strong><br/><br/>Your ability to express a range of emotions, your capacity to let energy flow and your ability to let your voice and body mirror the ‘emotional fingerprint’ of your content is an extremely important part of charisma and influence. In public speaking, if you deny people access to legitimate emotion associated with your sentiments, you may send them tonal and physiological signals that undermine or neutralise your content. <br/><br/>In some studies conducted on the range of emotions that respondents consistently found themselves experiencing, it was discovered that the majority went through life aware of four or five enduring states. Such was the success of their personal self-containment strategies, that the respondents had repudiated or forgotten literally hundreds of other states of mind available to them. <br/><br/>A thought that may not have occurred to until now is that the greater number of emotional states you can access, the more flexibility you will have in dealing with life’s daily challenges. It follows that the more flexibility you have, the greater number of behavioural options you will have available to you. The more options you have the better your chances of being able to control and influence your environment. <br/><br/>Take an average family of young children and adults and notice who’s really in control of their environment. Seemingly the adults, but we all know it’s the youngest child. Young children, thank goodness, generally haven’t learned to deny themselves permission to express their message fully. <br/><br/>Normal children have the widest range of behaviours and personal flexibility of any demographic category. They just ‘do’ emotion and behaviour, and they do it with purpose and passion, much to our delight and occasionally to our chagrin. When younger children do behaviour, notice how their body movements, tones of voice, energy levels, and facial and eye expressions are in total harmony. Sadly, they have something that we once had before we learned how to contain ourselves. <br/><br/>Of course, you need to monitor yourself in a variety of situations. It isn’t common sense to give way to your ”inner child” during a company function and throw food at the guest of honour. You wouldn’t go to the funeral of a wealthy benefactor in board shorts and sing “I’m in the money!” during the service, even if you felt that way. You may even think twice about revealing your unqualified disappointment at your partner returning home with a hairstyle that makes him/her look like an articulated toilet brush.<br/><br/>You can, however, respond and react within the boundaries of common sense and reasonable behaviour. In choosing to do so, you can congratulate yourself for having taken a major step towards building a more charismatic profile. <br/><br/>In yielding to the enormous pressures of socialisation, many people seem to have thrown the baby out with the bath water. What you may choose to consider is bringing back the bits of the baby that had the capacity to align its voice, body, and heart to the expression of its message. <br/><br/>Make a list, as long a list as you can of emotional states (For example, happiness, dread, exuberance, cheekiness, boldness, etc., etc.) Then, make a note of the states of mind you rarely, if ever experience. Try a few of them out. Go back to a time in your life and notice how surprising and delightful it can be to remember the physical and emotional sensations attached to those states. How did your body ‘speak’ those emotions? What physical movement and countenance was involved, and how did you voice them? <br/><br/>And as you find yourself reviewing your memory of long-gone expressions of emotion, begin to appreciate the fact that all you need to do is get in touch with them to bring them into the present. <br/></span><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-family:times new roman;"><span style="font-family:arial;"><br/></span>(c) Desmond Guilfoyle 2006</span></span><span style="font-family:times new roman;"><span style="font-family:arial;"><br/></span></span><span style="font-family:arial;"><br/></span><br/><span style="font-family:verdana;"><br/></span><br/><br/><br/>Desmondhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14148245572518221306noreply@blogger.com0